Blog - October Overview

Hi Blog,

I sometimes see dating as an unspoken competition that no one has officially announced. There are men who are taller, more muscular, better-looking, wealthier, more confident, or simply more naturally attractive. Then there's someone like me, who stands somewhere in the middle, looking at all these qualities and wondering where I fit in. I haven't received an official scorecard, so I have created one in my mind. The more I compare myself to others, the more it feels like everyone around me is moving up the ladder while I remain stuck near the bottom.

But when did finding someone to love become a competition that I needed to win?

Perhaps it happened gradually. I notice another man receiving attention, and my mind immediately begins calculating what he has that I don't. If he is fitter, I feel smaller. If he is taller, I feel disadvantaged. If he has more money, I imagine he can offer more. If he is handsome and confident, I assume women would naturally notice him before they would ever notice me. None of these thoughts necessarily come from something a woman has personally told me, but hearing such things being discussed among people, observing society, seeing social media, listening to conversations, and remembering my own experiences only make it worse. Even though I know these expectations are not for everyone, when I see them repeated often enough, they begin to feel like facts. I start thinking that if I am merely average, then any man who is slightly better in one of these areas automatically has the upper hand. And if everyone else has an advantage, perhaps all that remains for someone like me is to accept being unwanted.

Trip - Bintan - The Residence

Hi Blog,

In 2023, I took my first trip to Bintan with D, and we stayed at Nirwana Gardens. I want to visit all the beach resorts in Bintan (if only I were sponsored). Even though I spoiled one of my travel mates' experiences (typically) there due to my eyesoreness and shxttiness. However, I will either do it myself or have an accommodating travel mate if there is one. For my second stay in Bintan, based on Google Maps 'resort search', I want to target the more distant resort, which is The Residence, in the east of Bintan.

Good morning, Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. This time, I got the later ferry, so I won't be rushing.

Hope I won't disappoint anyone, including myself, on this trip after that wallet-bleeding incident... Let's go and explore together!

Blog - August Overview

Hi Blog,

One day, every one of us will grow old. The youthful face we once admired will slowly change. Wrinkles will appear, hair will turn grey, our bodies will lose their strength, and eventually the mirror will reflect someone very different from the person we once knew.

If beauty is temporary... what remains when time takes it away?

As I thought about this, I realised something that I wish I had understood when I was younger. If my happiness depends on being good-looking, then time is my greatest enemy because it will eventually take that away. But if my happiness is rooted in the person I try to become—being kind, sincere, compassionate, with integrity—and in the lives I touch—then time cannot easily steal those things. In fact, they often become even more beautiful with age, just like plants as they grow.

Trip - My Disney Adventure Cruise Experience

Hi Blog,

I had the opportunity to go on a Disney Cruise with L, something we had promised to do since last year. The pricing for the staterooms is based on two adults, meaning that even if only one person travels, they still pay the full price. Since a stateroom can accommodate up to four guests, sharing the room is a smart way to save money. L is a big Disney fan, and since his partner isn’t interested in cruises, he invited me to join him on this trip. Given that the Disney Cruise rarely stops in Singapore, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to experience something special together. This is the background behind my decision to embark on this journey.

The weather seemed calm for travelling!

Honestly, the price I paid for the cruise was quite wallet-damaging, but I believe it offers great value for the experience I’m about to have. I hope it will be worth it with the amenities and activities included. I’m determined to make the most of this adventure and embrace everything the cruise has to offer. Let’s embark on this journey together! If you want to go on your own Disney Adventure Cruise, you can click here to find out more.

Trip - Oceanarium Singapore

Hi Blog,

It was supposed to park under January 2026, but I will need more time to draft this one. (This one took me a lot of time. This will be a perfect example if I decide to do a serious post which no one reads. Hahaha...) Anyway, this post is about the Singapore Oceanarium. Have you been to Oceanarium yet?

I was fortunate to get a ticket from my admin team because I missed the opportunity to go to the Oceanarium with my colleagues last November while I was attending a three-day course.

Today I decided to utilise that ticket before it expired. Personally, I love to look at fish tanks in an aquarium; it is like they take a small section of a habitat for closer observation, as if you are swimming with them. Hence, many years ago, I visited Singapore Sea Aquarium (2015 & 2020) twice and Underwater World (2016), and I love it.

Trip - Penang City Tour

Hi Blog,

For the second part of my journey, I will continue my post from Taiping to Penang City. If you have missed it, you can continue from there and come back again.

Taiping is a quiet town, but I love it. If I could teleport anywhere to travel around, I would visit Taiping again...

Thanks to our tour guide for arranging that itinerary, and I am excited about the next one to Penang. If you missed out on my first Penang itinerary in 2016, you may click here to read more of it. It was when I had just started my blogging habit, so my write-up was quite raw.

Trip - Taiping Sepatang Tour

Hi Blog,

This weekend, I will be travelling again! Many people have commented that I treat the airport like my second home. I understand they are teasing me, but it's not a pleasant feeling, and I need to learn how to manage it. My elder brother wants to organise another big family trip to Penang, and our itinerary will be managed by a tour guide. Previously, he had taken my aunts and uncles to Genting Highlands Day 1 & 2, and KL Day 3 & 4 (2024).

I will be staying overnight at my elder brother's house so that we can grab a meal together with my aunties.

I hope this trip will be conflict-free and less dramatic, and that we can bond well! Personally, I just wanted to relax during the whole trip. It was a four-day trip, and I will divide this into two long posts about different parts of Malaysia - Taiping and Penang.

Personal - Good Friday Lazarus

Hi Blog,

It's Good Friday today, a holiday! Yippee! What should I do today? Some time ago, my friend J accompanied me on camping trips to Pulau Hantu and several hiking excursions. Subsequently, he had to attend to certain family matters. Once matters had settled, he wanted a break and requested that I accompany him on a visit to an island.

The weather today appeared to be quite favourable.

But but... I don't like the idea of visiting Lazarus, especially on public holidays... But that is the only day when he can take a break from his part-time work and feel that his mother is able to take care of herself. I think from my past Lazarus visits, I had never tried to visit on public holidays. I will take this opportunity to show you why.

If you missed my previous trips to Lazarus Island, you can check them out here. Oh my, I am a Lazarus regular. Lazarus Island and Kusu Island (2017) and again (2017), Solo trip (2017), Drone on the Island (2018), Disappointed Trip (2019), Chao Ta Day (2020), Me-Time (2020), Leading a Group (2020), Beach boy (2021), Visiting the island (2021), Explored the Unexplored (2021), Rainy Island (2021), Best Suntan (2022), Monday Orange (2022), Leading a Hike (2022), Sunny Island (2022), Mr Sun's Island (2023), Lesser Sun (2023), No Water (2023), Access while Low Tide (2023), New Tent (2024), Free Trip (2025), Quiet Battle Within (2025), A Day at Lazarus (2025), Weekend Suntan (2026), Eyesore Tanning (2026)

Blog - April Overview

Hi Blog,

There was a time when I looked into the mirror, not to see myself, but to measure what I lacked. Height, appearance, presence — somehow, I always felt I fell short. It wasn’t something people said all the time directly, but it was there… in the silence, in comparisons, in the way attention seemed to flow more easily to others.

Maybe it wasn’t the mirror that was harsh… but the way I learned to look at myself.

Growing up, it felt like there was an invisible standard everyone had to meet. The media, the people around me, even casual conversations — they all quietly shaped this idea of what it meant to be “good-looking enough.” And without realising it, I started to believe that being seen, liked, or even loved… had something to do with how I wished to meet that standard.

Trip - Short Getaway to Korea

Hi Blog,

As you know, travelling with a group of friends is one of my wishes, and that also includes travelling with colleagues. Why so? Because, personally, I think being able to travel together is an art; it shows a willingness to bond and to get to know one another.

But sometimes, it has an issue. Is there anyone who wants to do so, especially with me? Haha. When it happens, it is a blessing for me.

But there is a risk when travelling together; it can break the relationship or leave scars during or after the trip. Personally, I take every moment of travelling to get to know a person and determine whether that person is a good travel partner.

Anyway, I will be going to spend four days on a four-day getaway in Korea with my colleagues! I won't divide my four-day trip into four posts and will keep it all in one. By the way, in case you might have missed my previous trips to Korea, if you are keen, you may click on My First Korea Trip (2024) & Korea Trip with my Mother (2025)

Blog - March Overview

Dear Chat,

There was a season in my life where affirmation felt necessary. I realised I often longed to be seen, acknowledged, and told that I was doing well. At the same time, I also told myself I shouldn’t need it — that I should be strong enough to validate myself. Through these reflections, I began to see that this wasn’t a weakness, but a pattern shaped by my past.

What I discovered: Affirmation is not the problem. Dependence on it is.

I learned that it is human to appreciate encouragement. But I also learned that my worth cannot fluctuate based on whether someone notices me. I can affirm myself. I can recognise my own effort. I can quietly acknowledge my own growth.

Blog - February Overview

Hi Blog,

Chinese New Year has always felt different from the Western New Year. It carries less urgency and more reflection — a pause to look at what has stayed, what has faded, and what quietly follows us into the next cycle of life.

I had to reflect on what I want to do in life.

Now, close to 50, I no longer wait for dramatic changes in my relationship status. Looking back at my 30s and where I am today, I can’t tell whether I truly outgrew that longing or whether I numbed myself for so long that it felt like growth. Perhaps it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I’ve learned to accept it. Instead of letting these unfulfilled hopes become stones that slow me down or injure me, I choose to turn them into stepping stones — a way to cross the river towards the place I’m meant to reach.

Personal - Bus Over The Border Together

Hi Blog,

In 2024 and 2025, I mentioned that one of my wishlists was to travel with colleagues, because it can help build memories besides work and also means they are comfortable and enjoy travelling together. The same rules applied to friends.

Today was the day to continue building good memories with my colleagues.

Travelling can really test an individual's character when they aren't carrying job professionalism and politeness, bringing out their actual personality and social awareness, especially in a group. Also, it is a test for myself too.

Blog - January Overview

Hi Blog,

As the new year arrives, fewer people ask me about my New Year's resolution these days. Maybe people are busy, or maybe they already assume I don’t have one. The truth is, I do have an ultimate aim in life — but I’ve learned that it’s better to stay grounded and realistic than to dress it up into something ambitious-sounding but hollow.

Not every beginning needs noise; some begin with stillness.

When I was younger, like many others — especially when single — my resolutions sounded familiar: eat healthier, work out more, achieve more, move forward faster. Couples seemed different; they had shared motivation and visible milestones ahead of them. As for me, a plain old single guy, my life has been shaped more by responsibility than by ambition — taking care of my mother and siblings, and filling my days with what many might call “boring” activities: hiking, swimming, jogging, blogging, gardening, volunteering, religious work, even cosplaying. These choices don’t always fit the image of someone who looks ready to devote everything to building a conventional family, and over time, they quietly shaped both how others see me and how I see myself.

Personal - Weekend Suntanning

Good morning Blog,

I really missed Lazarus Island... I missed just lying on the beautiful beach, not doing anything. I had a thought... Why not go on the weekend this time? Previously, I didn't go on weekends because during COVID, weekends were packed with visitors, so I only went on weekdays. Not everyone could travel; perhaps there have been changes.

I thought I’d give it a shot today since the weather was nice.

I invited T to accompany me on this trip because he always wants to go, and since he was available in the morning, I didn't need to spend too much time there, so it was good to clear the queue list. Today's blog post will be a short and 'eyesore-ing' one.

Blog - December Overview

Hi Blog,

Lately, I’ve been observing my thoughts and reactions, almost like watching waves hitting the shore. There are patterns — familiar emotions, recurring doubts, and the same kind of thoughts that like to visit when I feel small. They come quietly, repeating the same story: that I’m not enough, that others are better, that I’m invisible. It’s strange how these patterns can feel like truth when they’re just echoes of old wounds.

But realising something important — a pattern doesn’t have to be permanent. Just because it has been repeated doesn’t mean it can’t be rewritten. Awareness itself is the first act of change. Each time I catch myself sinking into those old feelings, I can choose to pause, breathe, and rewrite the script: “Maybe this time, I don’t have to believe that voice.”

I used to think change meant erasing the past. Now, I see it’s about understanding it — tracing where the patterns began, learning why they exist, and gently guiding myself toward a new response. It’s not about fighting the old, but teaching myself new ways to feel and think.

Blog - November Overview

Hi Blog,

Over the years, I’ve realised that I actually know my end goals. I know the process, and I even know how to pick myself up when negativity hits. In many ways, the answers and solutions are already in my hands. What I often lack, however, is affirmation.

It’s strange, isn’t it? To know what to do but still feel something is missing.

I’ve come to see that it’s not the instructions or the “how-to” that I’m searching for. It’s that little spark of assurance—the voice that says, “Yes, you’re on the right track. Keep going.” Without it, the path feels heavier, even though I know the direction. What I’m really craving is not more advice, but the warmth of affirmation, the sense that my efforts are recognised, not just tolerated.

Personal - No Nut November

Hi Blog,

It's November again. I wondered whether I should try out No Nut November again. I had tried a few times, like in 2024, 2023, 2021, and 2020. I got more and more experienced, to be honest. I believe this year I will break the record because, as I have aged, especially as a single, unwanted and carrying lousy genes person like me, I would have overcome the urge.

I understand those trigger points and, having gained enough experience from the past, I should be able to manage them.

Warning! For those judgmental and conservative people (guys, gals or whatever) who might be reading at this point. Please stay away from this post because this is not a sexual piece. It’s an honest reflection on self-control, triggers, and discipline during a personal experiment. Some images might not be suitable for anyone with such sensitivity. So I would ask you to skip this.

Trip - Staying at Montigo Resort Batam

Hi Blog,

This year, I didn't go to Halloween night at USS, and I also wanted to visit some resorts in Bintan or other places with D. However, I can't forget that I spoiled D's mood during the trip. I think not just him; I also nearly spoiled HD before, too. So I decided to go on a solo staycation, but for this trip, I wanted to give one more chance to test other people's patience with me, so I got SKK to accompany me.

Anyway, I should stay focused on the topic. Today, I will be going to a resort in Batam, where I always ask my friends or colleagues why staycations in Batam don't have nice beaches.

Until I came to a website that always has special offers for civil servants, I found that this resort would be my first staycation, which I decided to try: Montigo Resort at Batam.

Hiking - Rocks Garden

Good Morning Blog,

Long weekend finally, but I have an important thing to prepare for next weekend. However, I was invited to explore a secret place in Singapore. Let me show you the hidden side of Singapore.

Hmm... Heavy clouds spotted... Hope it won't rain...

I was on the journey to a secret spot in Singapore where nature's boulders rest undisturbed. Check them out with me today!