Hi Blog,
There was a time when I looked into the mirror, not to see myself, but to measure what I lacked. Height, appearance, presence — somehow, I always felt I fell short. It wasn’t something people said all the time directly, but it was there… in the silence, in comparisons, in the way attention seemed to flow more easily to others.
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| Maybe it wasn’t the mirror that was harsh… but the way I learned to look at myself. |
Growing up, it felt like there was an invisible standard everyone had to meet. The media, the people around me, even casual conversations — they all quietly shaped this idea of what it meant to be “good-looking enough.” And without realising it, I started to believe that being seen, liked, or even loved… had something to do with how I wished to meet that standard.
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| 1st Apr 2026 - I will change my blog's name to OnlyJeff so I can post all my XXX content and charge my visitors cash! Wahahahahahahahhaha! Nah, April Fool's Day. I like my original name for my blog; I don't want to associate with such a naming convention, and I don't have XXX-related content other than being an eyesore. Cash? Nah, at least I have people who really care and are inspired, so I am humbled by it. |
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2nd Apr 2026 - My blog, especially my overview, has almost become my swimming posts... Where are my jogging and cycling posts? I want to post my plant-related stuff too, but I have dedicated that to my thread app. Anyway, let's talk about today. Today I decided to go for a quick swim before I fly, and I'm glad I did.
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3rd ~ 6th Apr 2026 - Short Getaway to Korea
(Drafting) |
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| 7th Apr 2026 - Something random for today since I can't go for a swim. I brought two iron-on SGOtter patches because, during my Korea trip, my two Uniqlo goodies were a bit plain, so I thought I'd spice them up with patches. Do you like it? |
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| 8th Apr 2026 - Wanted to go for a swim, but the lighting signal rang while the sky was still bright and shining... Oh well... I will just swim within the beauty of some newly purchased Caladium, which I never thought I would want to try. Recently, I have noticed I have been getting and trying out newer plants, which I didn't use to do. In the past, I focused on carnivorous plants, and now I am expanding to other foliage like aroids (Philodendron), staghorn (Platycerium), air plants (Tillandsia), and neoregelia (Bromeliad)... |
Looking back now, I realise it wasn’t just about appearance. It was about worth. Somewhere along the way, I tied how I looked to how much I deserved — attention, affection, even a place among others. And that belief stayed quietly within me for years, shaping how I saw myself in ways I didn’t fully understand back then. Not easy, but I know I am heading towards there.
Jeff
