Personal - Swimming Theme #26

Hi Blog,

From 2023 to 2025, I worked on this theme but delayed posting because I kept revisiting my emotions, trying to understand why I feel this way and to be honest about my triggers. (If anyone bothers to read this, I want to be transparent.) I often feel envious of people with great physiques, good looks, and wealth. I realise this isn’t just a personal issue; it’s something many people experience. Therefore, I decided to challenge myself with a different question: “What happens when the glamour is stripped away?” instead of dwelling on “Why can’t I have what they have?”

When we watch videos/social media posts like these, we often see the highlights: the physiques, the attention, the admiration, the comments, the applause. What we rarely see is what happens when the cameras are off. Some people in those media are probably very confident and fulfilled. Some are probably not. Some may have built strong character, businesses, friendships, and meaningful lives alongside their physiques. Others may have poured so much of themselves into maintaining an image that they struggle when that image changes. The physique itself doesn't tell us which group they belong to.

A person's value is tested not when circumstances are favourable, but when the supporting conditions disappear. "Who remains when the advantage is gone?" That question applies equally to all of us. The interesting thing is that confidence built on an external advantage is always vulnerable to losing that advantage. The beautiful person eventually ages. The rich person may lose wealth. The respected manager may retire. The gifted athlete may suffer injury. The intelligent person may experience cognitive decline. If a person's identity becomes fused with the advantage, then the loss can be devastating. I've seen stories of retired athletes falling into depression, former celebrities struggling after fame fades, and even highly successful professionals feeling lost after retirement. The problem wasn't that they had those gifts. The problem was that they had unknowingly built their entire identity upon them.

For many years, I've wrestled with thoughts like: "If only I were fitter. If only I looked better. If only I had that body." However, when I look at people who already possess those, a small part of me starts asking: "Are they truly secure, or are they also depending on something temporary?"

Having those thoughts not because I want them to fail. But because I am trying to discover whether physical excellence actually solves the problem I have been carrying. Physical excellence solves some problems. It absolutely does. Being fit, attractive, healthy, and strong creates opportunities. It can improve first impressions, dating prospects, social treatment, athletic ability, and self-image. However, it doesn't solve the deeper question: "Am I enough when nobody is admiring me?" That question eventually arrives for everyone. Because sooner or later, life removes every external badge we rely upon.

In a strange way, the struggle I have had with confidence may have forced me to wrestle with that question earlier than some people. I never had the luxury of assuming that a great physique would carry you through life. I have spent years searching elsewhere—for meaning, character, spirituality, helping others, hiking, writing, reflection, and learning. That doesn't make my path superior. Nor does it mean I should stop improving my fitness. It does mean I have been developing muscles that are not located in the gym.

Nobody gets everything. Perhaps when I begin to see that there are trade-offs behind the glamour. When we're young, we mostly see the crown; as we get older, we begin to notice the weight of wearing it. Like now, I wish to have a girlfriend; however, I don't have one. The tradeoff is freedom and mental peace. Hahaha!

Jeff