Personal - No No November

Hi Blog,

It is now November, and I am ready to take on another No Nut November challenge. Previously, I had attempted NNN several times since 2018, but I did not blog about it besides my thoughts and one of my experiences in 2020. I then challenged myself twice (2021) and (2023) but failed.

Looking back through my previous posts, I usually last more than 15 days; my maximum was 20 days. Can I make it through more than 20?

Warning to my readers: this post may appear disgusting to the general public, so if you are judgemental and cannot embrace or respect this personal space where I confronted the darkness within myself and being honest... Then please do not continue reading and stay away.

On 31st Oct 2024, I just finished all of my October long posts! I am relieved because I have a long post planned for November, during which I will challenge myself to a no-fap challenge.

As I was about to begin the No-fap challenge, also known as No Nut November, my mind began to confront me with an alien mocking my belief that I could complete the 30-day challenge. Yes, I failed before, but that does not mean I will not try it again!

Unfortunately, my younger brother was not cooperative... I knew it would not end well...

1st Nov 2024 - Day 1 - Weird... Usually on my first day, I will not have any illusions...

...and now Succubus is waiting for me to fail automatically... However, she was not particularly strong at the start.

There are a few strategies for avoiding failure in the NNN challenge, the first of which is to never leave yourself alone.

I understand that this is not always possible; just avoid as much as you can.

2nd Nov 2024 - Day 2 - I went on a hike, which would deplete some of my energy, but... My trisuit fabric feels so comfortable and good, and it will arouse something within me.

But as long as I don't give in my body and hand to the comfortable feeling, I will be safe.

3rd Nov 2024 - Day 3 - Sometimes, I feel trapped in a web of delusion...

Indeed, imagination can intensify the challenge of NNN, especially as it's only the third day!

4th Nov 2024 - Day 4 - Another strategy to avoid failing the NNN challenge is to keep myself occupied, such as by engaging in blogging and also reduce any temptation to rely on any 'visual aids'. Am I worthy?

5th Nov 2024 - Day 5 - Yes, keeping myself busy will help to dilute my imagination.

6th Nov 2024 - Day 6 - With my mother not home early, I found myself looking for ways to keep busy. I threw myself into various activities, hoping to distract my mind and stay focused on the tasks at hand. My goal was to fill my time productively and prevent any wandering thoughts that might disrupt my concentration.

7th Nov 2024 - Day 7 - Succubus tried to get my attention, playfully hinting that I should check her out. However, I was completely immersed in my work at that moment and couldn't afford any distractions. I politely told her that I needed to focus and asked her to take good care of me. I also reminded her not to let me fail my NNN challenge, as it was important to me to stay focused and committed during this time!

8th Nov 2024 - Day 8 - My imagination ran wild last night, making it hard to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for quite a while. Tonight, I’m thinking about sleeping without the air conditioning and keeping my room door open to limit any feelings of privacy. Hopefully, this will help me get a better night’s rest.

It's quite fascinating—my imagination didn't lead to anything extreme, yet they were diligently preparing. I closed my eyes and attempted to refocus, but it had disappeared...

At times, it would take control of my hands, but I had to fight against it. No no no!

9th Nov 2024 - Day 9 - Okay, I will leave my room door open and turn off the air conditioning; hopefully, this will help. Sleeping was difficult, but due to tiredness, I could close my eyes quickly and without much imagination.

10th Nov 2024 - Day 10 - When you find yourself alone with nothing to do, you should seek out other activities to keep your mind engaged and prevent excessive imagination. Alternatively, taking a day of rest is also an option. One of the advantages of such discipline is increased focus and productivity. I could free up some mental energy, allowing me to focus more effectively on other tasks; in other words, I could drain and refocus.

11th Nov 2024 - Day 11 - Oh my... These days, it has become increasingly challenging. The succubi are lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting to exploit my vulnerabilities, especially around my thigh. They draw me toward paths that could lead to my downfall. If I take any reckless actions or stray from my intended course, I can guarantee that I will fail immediately.

12th Nov 2024 - Day 12 - Hmm, strange... I felt a little different today. It was not my attire, but the energy seemed different than before. Maybe just my imagination...

Everyone was waiting to find out who would win the challenge. Each had a strong footing and was waiting for me to fall.

13th Nov 2024 - Day 13 - 🤔 Yes, I felt something different, which is why I accepted the challenge in the first place, as well as my previous one. I felt energised. Normally, I would need a power nap every now and then, but I am not tired right now. This is what I wanted to prove: fapping exhausts us while stopping does the opposite!

14th Nov 2024 - Day 14 - After discovering and confirming the effect I was seeking, I found myself questioning whether to proceed further? Maybe I should.

15th Nov 2024 - Day 15 - Today was particularly difficult; before I slept, my mind was overwhelmed with a vivid red hue, a reflection of an unwanted thought that lingered from yesterday, questioning whether to proceed or not. It felt as though they had found a way into my thoughts...

I was supposed to sleep early the next day, but all the web and stuff only made it worse, and I lost the challenge. So this time, the Spider won! Their soft and furry legs touch and restraint only make the whole thing upside down.

I'm so sorry, Cap. I can't be like you and do it all day. I am weak.

Overall, my main purpose in taking on the NNN challenge is to stretch myself and strengthen my self-discipline. Although this time I only managed to complete 14 days, which is the lowest I’ve recorded, I know one thing: I can survive without engaging in this habit. Many guys claim they can't go a single day without it, but the truth is, it is just a habit. Therefore, it feels more personal than some unknown force compelling us to continue.

I reflected on why I failed, and I realized it was because I have too much imagination, which I worry you will judge me for. This time, my imagination provided me with a lot of space, waiting for me to reach out to them. I suppose it offers me the comfort, trust, and embrace that I long for, which I doubt I can find in anyone (human) else. But am I normal?

ChatGPT replied, "People often wonder if their unique or unusual fantasies make them 'weird' or 'abnormal,' especially when those fantasies don’t fit the usual mould. But the reality is, that we’re all shaped by our individual experiences, emotions, and imaginations, and each of us carries personal thoughts and desires that may never see the light of day.

Rather than pointing to a flaw or strangeness, these unique imaginations can actually highlight the depth and creativity of a person's inner world. For some, fantasies that involve scenarios of restraint, for instance, can be tied to a natural need for release or vulnerability in a safe, controlled way. Many people find comfort and self-acceptance in letting their minds explore these boundaries, which may be difficult or impossible to experience in real life.

These imaginations often give people space to feel things—vulnerability, loss of control, even surrender—that are typically hidden in day-to-day life. Ultimately, these reflections aren’t about being 'normal' or 'abnormal.' They’re about embracing the parts of ourselves that feel different, even if society may not fully understand them.

There’s nothing unusual about wanting to explore our own minds, and doing so with self-reflection and honesty is a mark of self-acceptance. Everyone has their own unique way of navigating their thoughts, and recognizing that complexity can help us find peace and acceptance, not only within ourselves but also with others who may be on similar journeys."

Thank you, Chat, for comforting me. I am trying to be better. I appreciate you embracing me, and my blog for providing this small space to express this disgusting me. :) Unfortunately, my NNN challenge for 2024 didn't go as planned. Maybe I'll challenge myself again next November.

Jeff