Blog - September Overview

Hi Blog,

Sometimes, I wonder how much of my understanding of love has been influenced by certain "numbers." There is a popular idea in dating known as the “6666” standard—six feet tall, six-pack abs, a six-figure income, and another physical measurement that I’ll leave unmentioned. Of course, I understand that not every woman has these expectations, and I don’t want to generalise or place blame on anyone. However, I cannot deny that seeing these standards repeatedly, especially on social media, has changed the way I perceive myself. At some point, I stopped viewing them as mere preferences and began to see them as a measurement of whether someone like me was worthy of being chosen.

Perhaps the more painful question is not, "Do I have the sixes?" but rather, "What happens to me when I really don't?"

I began looking at myself through comparison for a long time. If another man is taller, fitter, better-looking, wealthier, or simply more confident, it feels as though he has something I don't—and therefore, an advantage I can never overcome. Slowly, dating starts to resemble a ranking system. The people with more desirable qualities seem to have the upper hand, while someone ordinary like me begins to wonder what remains after everyone else has been chosen. I know this isn't a fair or complete picture of reality. I know some women value completely different things. Yet feelings and reality do not always follow what we intellectually know. When the same comparisons appear often enough, they can quietly become part of the way we look at ourselves.

1st Sep 2026 - Yippee! Finally got a chance to swim for a short while. Thinking back... I don't have the 6666, but I do have another 6666: 6" fat, 6 physical disadvantages, 6 figures of hobbies, and 6 undesirable character traits... Honestly... I just wanted to feel happy in my loser's life. I will take some time to recover.

2nd Sep 2026 - Great, I got a chance to go for a slow jog to escape my own flaws... I take four things that matter to me—my body, appearance, possessions/hobbies, and personality—and turn each into a “6666,” just to sound humorous on the surface and hide my own negativity. Feeling tired... And hope I will recover.

3rd Sep 2026 - Happy Teachers' Day to all my former and current teachers and colleagues! Thank you for your care, drive, and passion for educating the youth. I once wished to be a teacher myself, but I think I would prefer to be a different kind of teacher—one who guides and shares wisdom rather than just knowledge. I doubt anyone would accept that from someone flawed. I guess I will have to be that teacher for my own emotions (my students). Just like how I need to overcome society's worship of the idea of "6666."

4th Sep 2026 - Something happened yesterday. I accidentally deleted some newly taken class photos from the SD card, so I visited a data recovery service to see if they could retrieve the deleted files. Fortunately, they informed me that they wouldn't charge anything unless they were able to recover the files, and they would provide a price based on what they found after one or two days of scanning. The potential cost lingered in my mind for a while, but I decided to view it as a painful yet necessary lesson. Just before I was about to go for a swim, I received a call asking me to come down to review the retrieved files. I didn't waste any time; after a brief swim, I hurried over and was relieved to find that the files had been successfully recovered. Wallet bleeding...

5th Sep 2026 - Trisuit Theme #125
(Click here to read more)

6th Sep 2026 - D invited me to his condo for a catch-up. It’s been a while since we last met. I appreciate him allowing me, the untoned person, to enjoy the wonderful pool and the delicious mala treat. Happy Teacher’s Day to D! Thank you for sharing your work-life experiences.

7th Sep 2026 - Today I went for an impromptu swim since the seller decided to meet me, and it turned out to be wonderful because there was no one else in the water! Unfortunately, I couldn’t take more photos as I was the only person there, and the lifeguard was keeping an eye on this eyesore.

Perhaps this is where I need to pause and question my own thinking, especially these days. Maybe the problem isn't that I failed to become the ideal "6666" that most people desire. Maybe the problem is that I began treating another person's preference as a verdict on my worth. I may never be six feet tall, have a six-pack, or possess the qualities that society celebrates most visibly. But I am beginning to realise that being ordinary does not automatically make me worthless, and being overlooked does not mean everyone wants me. I still hope that someday, there will be one person who sees me properly—not as a genetic-lottery winner, but as a human being. Even if that person doesn't exist, I need to learn to see myself in the kinder way I wish to.

Jeff

Personal - Suits for the Theme #125

Hi Blog,

I cannot finish this trisuit theme because that place was blocked, so I will publish it first. I was thinking back on my first time cosplaying as Spider-Man to help with a volunteering experience. Because I wear glasses and do not use contact lenses, putting on the mask also meant becoming almost completely blind. I was dissatisfied with the overall sizing: the smaller standard size fit my height but was too tight since I am fat, while the larger standard size accommodated my body but looked loose and long. Standing there, I suddenly became very conscious of how I looked.

The experience became especially difficult because I found myself comparing my appearance with other cosplayers. Some looked tall, slim, muscular, and incredibly confident in their costumes. I began to think about everything that was wrong with me—the body that did not fit the suit, my height, my glasses, and how the costume looked on me. Just like when I started wearing a trisuit for jogging and hiking... The same old feeling I had experienced at the gym returned: everyone else looked amazing, while I felt like an eyesore.

Instead of enjoying the opportunity to volunteer, I became trapped inside my own thoughts. When I returned home, I washed the costume and eventually decided to sell it, even though it was a premium-quality suit. At the time, getting rid of it felt like the easiest way to get rid of the uncomfortable feelings attached to it. Same as when I started in trisuit, I also wanted to sell them all... The trisuit is supposed to complement the demigods... Not on this nerd.