Personal - Reenactment Island Trip

Happy Diwali Blog,

Finally, another public holiday in the month. I wanted to heal, and since the haze had cleared, I wanted to recharge in the sun. I also wanted to clear the queue to request a trip to Lazarus Island. It seemed like none of them could make it. I also wanted to test my AI assistant with another long post to check how fast it can prepare my blog.

I guess I might take a trip today to complete one of my personal objectives on the island, before that place is gone.

It is also best to accomplish this alone... I doubt there is anyone who has any creativity or ideas to assist me with this. Okay! Let's not delay; I need to pack and go ASAP.

If you missed my previous trips to Lazarus Island, you can check them out here. Lazarus Island and Kusu Island (2017) and again (2017), Solo trip (2017), Drone on the Island (2018), Disappointed Trip (2019), Chao Ta Day (2020), Me-Time (2020), Leading a Group (2020), Beach boy (2021), Visiting the island (2021), Explored the Unexplored (2021), Rainy Island (2021), Best Suntan (2022), Monday Orange (2022), Leading a Hike (2022), Sunny Island (2022), Mr Sun's Island (2023), Lesser Sun (2023), No Water (2023), Access while Low Tide (2023), New Tent (2024), Free Trip (2025), Quiet Battle Within (2025), A Day at Lazarus (2025), Weekend Suntan (2026), Eyesore Tanning (2026), Good Friday Lazarus (2026), Tiny Away Escape @ Lazarus (2026)

Hiking - Finding More Ruins

Hi Blog,

Today's weather was good despite the stormy weather yesterday. I had a hiking plan that I was not able to complete last week, (2026 Celebrate Halloween with Tree Shrine) so I decided to complete it today.

The sky is clear and sunny today. Observing such weather brings me joy.

Honestly, I don't know what to expect from this hike. I have a strong feeling that today I might discover something new which not many people talk about or share. Let's go on the journey together.

Personal - Swimming Theme #28

Hi Blog,

For a long time, I didn’t realise how much I was waiting to be affirmed. I wanted someone to notice my effort, to tell me I was enough, to reassure me that I mattered. When that didn’t come, I felt smaller than I actually was. Then I tried convincing myself I didn’t need affirmation at all — but deep down, I knew that wasn’t true either.

I wasn’t craving attention. I was craving reassurance.

And that reassurance can begin with me. I may still feel that longing sometimes. But instead of waiting for someone else to fill that space, I am learning to sit with myself and say, “You did well.” That quiet affirmation feels steadier than external praise ever did.

Hiking - Celebrate Halloween with Tree Shrine

Hi Blog,

After a long Halloween night yesterday, a new day dawned in November. Before continuing my afternoon program, I had a strong feeling that I should step out to visit the Tree Shrine, the Old Uncle Banyan Tree, since I hadn't managed to visit it on my previous hike due to the rain. (2026 Oct post)

Today seemed like a good weather!

Since I might try to do NNN again, I will visit the Old Uncle Banyan Tree to get its blessing and celebrate Halloween with it. Besides, among all the banyan trees I have visited so far, the Tree Shrine is definitely the creepiest and most secluded..

Blog - October Overview

Hi Blog,

I sometimes see dating as an unspoken competition that no one has officially announced. There are men who are taller, more muscular, better-looking, wealthier, more confident, or simply more naturally attractive. Then there's someone like me, who stands somewhere in the middle, looking at all these qualities and wondering where I fit in. I haven't received an official scorecard, so I have created one in my mind. The more I compare myself to others, the more it feels like everyone around me is moving up the ladder while I remain stuck near the bottom.

But when did finding someone to love become a competition that I needed to win?

Perhaps it happened gradually. I notice another man receiving attention, and my mind immediately begins calculating what he has that I don't. If he is fitter, I feel smaller. If he is taller, I feel disadvantaged. If he has more money, I imagine he can offer more. If he is handsome and confident, I assume women would naturally notice him before they would ever notice me. None of these thoughts necessarily come from something a woman has personally told me, but hearing such things being discussed among people, observing society, seeing social media, listening to conversations, and remembering my own experiences only make it worse. Even though I know these expectations are not for everyone, when I see them repeated often enough, they begin to feel like facts. I start thinking that if I am merely average, then any man who is slightly better in one of these areas automatically has the upper hand. And if everyone else has an advantage, perhaps all that remains for someone like me is to accept being unwanted.