Blog - November Overview

Hi Blog,

Talk about being 47, still single, and gradually feeling that the dating opportunities available to me are becoming fewer. Watching people around me find partners while wondering whether I have missed my chance.

But what happens when being overlooked repeatedly makes someone believe that he is simply not worth choosing?

Explore the feeling of being among the less desirable ones. Perhaps I am not wealthy, tall, handsome or particularly charismatic. I begin imagining that women who remain single at this stage might still prefer someone better than me. I feel as though I am competing for whatever remains. But I should also distinguish between what I have actually experienced and what my insecurities have led me to assume.

1st Nov 2026 - Celebrate Halloween with Old Uncle Tree
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2nd Nov 2026 - Honestly, I wish I had a beautiful body like many others. I just want to feel confident and be accepted by many. However, I know that this desire can also be a double-edged sword for my mental well-being. I have to either outgrow the desire to have that ideal body or learn to manage the feelings that come from not having it. If I am just an average person, then I will learn to embrace being average.

3rd Nov 2026 - I was told that some of my photographs had been shared online. I wasn't particularly bothered that someone reposted them, especially since nothing negative was written about me. However, what caught my attention was that someone had AI-edited my photographs to give me a six-pack, a more defined chest, and a slimmer, V-shaped physique. Honestly, I felt a little disappointed. Not because the edited photographs looked bad, but because they showed a version of myself that I have always dreamed of becoming, yet struggled to achieve in reality. For a brief moment, I was looking at someone who resembled me, but possessed the physical qualities I wished I had. Seeing the two versions side by side made me more conscious of my own physical shortcomings. The AI version seemed closer to the kind of physique society admires, while my actual body suddenly felt rather ordinary in comparison. It made me wonder whether my natural physique would ever receive the same attention or admiration.

4th Nov 2026 - Perhaps the most uncomfortable part wasn't simply wanting six-pack abs or a muscular chest, but recognising how much I had associated those physical features with attractiveness, desirability and being noticed. It was as though I had briefly awakened from a sweet dream, only to return to a reality I wasn't entirely satisfied with. I know I should stop daydreaming and focus on whatever I like to do rather than pursue an unrealistic dream... Message to the X-user: Thank you for trying to make my imperfect body look god-like, but please don’t do that anymore. I appreciate your effort, but my body isn’t perfect. You can focus on collecting photos of real demigods out there that don’t need any AI editing. There’s no need to waste your tokens trying to enhance my appearance; my ugly look simply can’t carry that.

5th Nov 2026 - Swimming Theme #28
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6th Nov 2026 - I finally received the letter to restart my bank account after a scammer tried to obtain my banking details by getting me to click on a link I didn't verify. Fortunately, I didn't lose any money, but I have been unable to use my account for purchases or to pay my bills. After five days, I received the reset PIN. It's time to address my banking issues after I take a shower.

To be honest, whoever I am right now—single, attached, or married—I have already trained myself to live independently, find my own happiness, and manage my life. Is it better? Having an extra pair of eyes and a heart, and being able to walk the remaining journey together, is always a blessing. However, a blessing isn't meant for everyone. It takes two hands to clap. With one hand, you can still clap—on your lap.

Jeff

Personal - Swimming Theme #28

Hi Blog,

For a long time, I didn’t realise how much I was waiting to be affirmed. I wanted someone to notice my effort, to tell me I was enough, to reassure me that I mattered. When that didn’t come, I felt smaller than I actually was. Then I tried convincing myself I didn’t need affirmation at all — but deep down, I knew that wasn’t true either.

I wasn’t craving attention. I was craving reassurance.

And that reassurance can begin with me. I may still feel that longing sometimes. But instead of waiting for someone else to fill that space, I am learning to sit with myself and say, “You did well.” That quiet affirmation feels steadier than external praise ever did.

Hiking - Celebrate Halloween with Tree Shrine

Hi Blog,

After a long Halloween night yesterday, a new day dawned in November. Before continuing my afternoon program, I had a strong feeling that I should step out to visit the Tree Shrine, the Old Uncle Banyan Tree, since I hadn't managed to visit it on my previous hike due to the rain. (2026 Oct post)

Today seemed like a good weather!

Since I might try to do NNN again, I will visit the Old Uncle Banyan Tree to get its blessing and celebrate Halloween with it. Besides, among all the banyan trees I have visited so far, the Tree Shrine is definitely the creepiest and most secluded..