Blog - July Overview

Hi Blog,

As I reflected on all these thoughts, I realised something deeper. Perhaps my struggle was never truly about wanting to be handsome, taller, or more attractive. Those were simply the things I believed would bring me closer to something else — the feeling of being wanted, chosen, and desired.

Maybe we do not long for beauty itself. Maybe we long for what we think beauty can give us.

After spending much of my life single, I have often wondered if things would have been different had I looked better. Would I have received more attention? More opportunities? Would someone have looked at me differently? These thoughts still visit me from time to time. Not because I dislike who I am today, but because there remains a small part of me that wishes to know what it feels like to be desired by another person.

Yet as the years pass, I have also come to understand that attraction alone cannot carry a relationship through life. Good looks may capture attention, but they cannot guarantee kindness, loyalty, understanding, or companionship. Beauty may open a door, but it is character that decides whether someone stays. The older I grow, the more I appreciate thoughtful hearts, genuine souls, and people who make others feel safe to be themselves.

Blog - May Overview

Hi Blog,

As I grew older, those quiet thoughts didn’t disappear. They simply became softer, more hidden — showing up in small moments. A glance at someone more confident, a passing comparison, or even just the feeling of being unnoticed in a crowd. I told myself I had accepted things, but deep down, something still lingered.

Sometimes, it’s not loud insecurities that stay with us… but the quiet ones we learn to live with.

I began to realise that it wasn’t just about how I looked, but how I believed others would see me. That belief slowly shaped how I carried myself — more reserved, more careful, sometimes holding back before even trying. Not because I couldn’t, but because a part of me had already decided where I stood.

Blog - June Overview

Hi Blog,

This June began unexpectedly: my left ear became muffled for more than a week. At first, I thought it would go away, but it persisted until I saw a doctor. He explained that it was earwax impaction. I started the treatment and gradually adjusted to being half-deaf. As strange as it sounds, the silence in one ear forced me to listen more deeply to myself.

It reminded me of how I sometimes respond to the advice of others—half-listening. Not because I do not care, but because I know exactly what changes I need to make. What holds me back is how people frequently rush to judgement rather than trying to understand. I am tired of being labelled as negative simply because I open up. Maybe what I’m really asking for is not answers but trust and space to grow at my own pace.

I discovered that something as simple as a blocked ear can serve as a mirror for self-awareness. I do not always need to "fix" things right away. Sometimes I just need to be patient with myself, accept my flaws, and make room for quiet healing. If others don’t understand, that’s okay—what matters is that I am beginning to understand myself.

Blog - April Overview

Hi Blog,

Time passes, but some feelings linger. Even though life moves forward, my mind occasionally drifts back to a friendship that left me feeling both betrayed and disappointed. It wasn’t a heated argument, nor was it a dramatic fallout—just a moment, a shift, a distance that grew between us. Looking back, I ask myself: was I too sensitive, or did I simply expect too much? Maybe it was a small matter, but sometimes, the smallest moments reveal the biggest truths.

It all began with a trip, where things seemed fine until they weren’t. A conversation about life choices—where to live, what freedom means—led to a wall of silence I never saw coming. I thought this friend understood me, yet his coldness after that session felt like a quiet storm.

After we returned from the trip and he departed with a cold wave without a word... Months passed without a word, and when he finally reached out, I found myself unable to respond with the warmth I once had. I didn’t want to be angry, but I couldn’t ignore the weight of the ghosting during and after either. Perhaps time will mend what was lost, or maybe it has already shown what was never truly there. I don’t want to hold grudges, but I do hold onto lessons. And if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that silence speaks louder than words—both his and mine.

Blog - January Overview

Hi Blog and 2025,

I have been writing my blog regularly, and it has become a part of my life, or at least a safe space where I can be accepted. I could stop using other social media platforms entirely because blogs are so different; unlike social media, which shows you whoever is popular or even people you do not care about in your feed, a blog only shows those who bother to visit the space where you have put in the effort.

My blog provides me with a source of light and a focus point for being myself.

Personally, I dislike the idea of scrolling through someone's social media posts and then using the "ignored" reaction. Perhaps I am just overly attached or thinking... Most importantly, I found a space for myself and people who care and do not judge.

Blog - November Overview

Hi Blog,

November is already one of my busiest seasons, and I will not be able to explore much, but I will try. I update my overview posts more regularly or daily than my long posts.

I guess blogging is a way of healing for me.

This is the best way to treat this blog as my personal cyberspace where I can reflect on random stupid things from time to time.

Blog - September Overview

Hi Blog,

As September begins, I’ve been reflecting on the feelings of doubt and underachievement that have been weighing on my mind—like concerns about my physical fitness, the challenges of finding time to work out, and the pressure of not having started a romantic relationship. These doubts can really get to me sometimes, pulling me into a negative space. But with some help from ChatGPT, supportive friends, and years of trying to be a better version of myself, I’ve noticed that I’ve actually made some improvements. They’re not huge or overnight changes, but they’re there, and they matter.

It’s important to acknowledge that I’m doing the best I can with the time I have. My schedule is packed, and I still dedicate myself to things that matter, like spending time with family, and friends, and fulfilling my duties. That’s not nothing—it’s significant. And I have to remember that fitness isn’t just about looking a certain way; it’s about feeling good and being healthy. While having a relationship is a great experience, everyone’s timeline is different. Instead of focusing on what I haven’t achieved, I’m learning to focus on being the best version of myself and doing things that make me feel fulfilled and happy—like hobbies, volunteering, or self-improvement

What I’m learning is that progress doesn’t have to be a big deal to count. Even little steps—like accepting where I am with my fitness and staying open to the idea of love—are worth celebrating. I have to remember to give myself some credit. As I keep moving forward, I’ll try to focus more on the good stuff, be patient with myself, and embrace the slow and steady path of personal growth. Here’s to making September a month of growth, self-compassion, and positivity.

Blog - January Overview

Happy 2024 Blog and exclusive readers

Thanks for supporting and liking my humble blog, 2023 was a happening year, there were bad and good moments especially my emotions and people who turned colder... but never mind, it was nothing new and if that is how he/she wants to be, I will respect that.

While looking back all the promises that person had made and I allowed it to happen, is totally my own fault. Blame no one than myself for giving that seat in my heart to them.

Anyway, time to move on and continue to improve on making myself less boring perhaps.

Blog - July Overview

Sorry Blog,

My apologies for taking a longer time to finish my June blog update. Can you imagine the amount of time spent to draft a post? Haha...

It was so tiring... 12 days of trip then became 15 posts... And it was not a short one.

I understand that not many people will understand the feeling of spending a great amount of effort to finish a post, and this blog was closed already... Who am I doing this for? I also don't have the right to expect others to understand. I just don't want things to stack up.

Blog - May Overview

Hi Blog,

You know in May, a nerd like me, and not even a fan, will like one of the days in May? And do you know which day?

Quite happened during Apr - a lot of swimming and explorations. Will the month of May be that busy too? I don't know.

I will try to come out with something different which I had prepared for a long time.

Blog - January Overview

Hi Blog,

Wow... 2022 was over. Time really flies! From my nuisance posts in the beginning where I was trying to find meaning of blogging until now I can't stop blogging. I guess it is the joy and journey of self-discovery.

Struck in the web of loop but definitely breaking away from it slowly.

Let's see what January had installed for me.

Blog - September Overview

Hi Blog,

September already! I wondered what kind of new thing I can do for now?

Finding new things to explore is so exciting but yet... It is limited... On this little red dot.

Well, I can't say I have a lot to offer to my readers and including myself... I will re-walk my past journey again and take it like a new journey.

Blog - August Overview

Hi Blog,

August, my first month of getting older... I guess I will become more and more mentally stable... I hope I get better.

I am glad usually after or before my birthday, I will tend to be emotional.

But I know I have a lot to grow from my current state. Jia you Jeff

Blog - June Update

Hi Blog,

Have been procrastinating for a while... Took some time to reflect on why I procrastinated.

In some ways... I am stuck in a loop and I want to improve but I know I can't be the best when most people and even myself will expect me to be the best... Why you don't strike for the best, you are not working on it at all...

Why... Need to go for the best? Can't we go for good or better? Isn't good or better not good enough? Perhaps it is a trigger...

Blog - May Update

Hi Blog,

May The May a blessing to my soul. I just wanted to calm down further... Recently, I got a bit negative and somehow numb inner.

Hope I will enhance and cultivate the Zen in me.

Sigh... I need to be watchful with myself. May the force be with me.

Blog - March Update

Hi Blog,

Covid virus just like forest-fire burning the woods one by one... burning around my workplace and people around me.

I just feel safer when I am away from the city and crowds...

But I know I can't escape from burning to me one day... I will see how long I can stand last.

Blog - February Update

Hi Blog,

Chinese New Year marked the beginning of February, I will wish you a Happy New Year! Thanks for accompanying me on this blogging journey.

In the twisted world, at least, I know I have a space for myself.

I can't change the world how to look at me if they chose to view us through their own lenses... I am too tired of explaining myself... Anyway, I can't be bothered anymore.

Blog - January Update

Hi Blog,

2022.. Another year had passed and a new year has come. COVID made a great impact on everyone's life. Even though not most for me, but I must say most of my hiking trips seemed nah... I guess... I will redo my hiking experience like a new trip for me in 2022.

Reset my experience might gain something new

I will try to come out with a resolution post for myself sooner.

Blog - December Update

Hi Blog,

Wow! December! As compared to other years, this year, it seemed like I have lesser posts... I might need some time to revisit my usual hiking places... But I doubt anyone will want to read the same old things again.

Feel bounded this time around, perhaps lack of ideas...

Anyway, it is a diary for me; I will take it easy and hope next year will be a good one.

Blog - October Update

Hi Blog,

October arrived in so fast; September seemed like a blink of an eye. I observed that I didn't do many long posts but more on short posts (which parked under that Month Update) because not much opportunity and lesser great places to explore.

At least, something new like this, a simple thing will make my day.

Might revisit those places again since it is a nice place for photos. :) hope you won't be bored by it.