Hi Blog,
October arrived in so fast; September seemed like a blink of an eye. I observed that I didn't do many long posts but more on short posts (which parked under that Month Update) because not much opportunity and lesser great places to explore.
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| At least, something new like this, a simple thing will make my day. |
Might revisit those places again since it is a nice place for photos. :) hope you won't be bored by it.
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| 1st Oct 2021 - some of my house plants were not doing well. So... Yes! Haha 😂 trying to get one more exotic plant - Aglaonema Pictum Tricolour (aka camouflage plant) it is one of the rare plants which native to Indonesia and a must for plant collector-enthusiasts. Hope it will grow well. |
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| 2nd Oct 2021 - on Saturday, I promised to bring my waifu out even though Miss Sky seemed gloomy today. Spent some time reading and don't know what I was thinking about. Then became a fat bear hibernating at home to get enough rest for myself. |
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| 3rd Oct 2021 - can't step out because my mother got rather jumpy these days because of the rise of Covid-19 cases. So I decided to have an early spring cleaning in my wardrobe. Feeling satisfying. |
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| 5th Oct 2021 - These few days, I reflected upon myself on something... Still collecting my thoughts and hoping they will set a direction on how to face myself. |
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| 12th Oct 2021 - Yes! Jogging day. It has been a while since I wore my favourite blue suit for a jog; usually, I wore it for my hike. Blue started to become my second favourite colour. |
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| 13rd Oct 2021 - Yeah... You may comment that I am obsessed with plants... Actually buying this is because my current Maximum is not doing well... So getting this healthy Philodendron Subincisum is to replace that. It might not be big but its wavy-like leaf is something to appreciate. |
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| 16th Oct 2021 - I have a lot of white hair as I got old. My mother told me that she would want to use up her hair dye so she demanded that I should give it a try. Oh well... Why not? and yes! Now I have a head of BLACK HAIRS! Just enjoy the moment because time will just flow as we breathe. |
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| 17th Oct 2021 - Wanted to go for a ride with my waifu but the motivation was zero today... Wanted to go for a hike but my motivation was 1% but damped by heavy rain... So instead of becoming a pig potato... I just tried to finish all my blog posts. No delay. |
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| 18th Oct 2021 - Thank you Mr Sun for motivating me like this in the morning. Beautiful, wasn't it? |
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| 19th Oct 2021 - Rather long... You may skip it if you have zero interest in reading... I received a wedding card from someone... Someone whom I had a crush on since secondary school... During that moment, my emotions just turned blank? Not upset but yet an upset feeling exists. Not happy but can't be happy. Like completely, just mixed feelings yet also muting myself to avoid further damage to myself. it was rather frustrating when I had put in effort to improve (years of self-talk, pushing, motivating, trying to live to the expectations of others) myself... I know I am just not her league and keep on telling myself to stop having feelings for her; went through years of darkness, depression, and sadness trying to pull myself up again to face the sun. Most of the time, I feel broken despite my efforts to remove such feelings is invalid... But I always check my own feelings and avoid getting overwhelmed or eating me up completely... Others told me to let go, bless her, face reality and move on... and Perhaps during her wedding day, I can just smile and send my blessing. But... I can't do it... Not because I didn't let her go, more like I don't want to hurt myself anymore - I don't want to be pretentious and suppress my feelings anymore. (I won't destroy her happy marriage too, I have no position to) Sigh... honestly, I am delighted that I knew this was happening; gave me a chance to learn one big lesson, a chance to enlighten more about the art of letting go... I guess I will be emotional for these days... |
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| 20th Oct 2021 - Emotional... Blue trunk! I decided to wear this blue swimming trunk but I know why I don't wear it... Because it looks like an undies! LOL! Not drawstring! Do you think I should continue to wear this? Sigh... Trying to pretend that I am happy... |
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| 21st Oct 2021 - Waiting to meet up with my friend for dinner... And still waiting after 40 minutes... still waiting until they showed up. My life - I am the one who waits... just like waiting for my life partner to show up... waiting to see her getting her loved one... I wait for a girl who truly appreciates me... I will die waiting... |
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| 24th Oct 2021 - Took my waifu out. Thinking through of healing my empty heart but yet I felt more and more relief to move on. She made her choice and I will wish her all the best. Besides, her husband is a keeper. That is all that matters for her happiness. |
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| 27th Oct 2021 - Pulled me out for a jog than struck in the darkness. |
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| 28th Oct 2021 - You know... knowing yourself getting older and untoned day by day, kind of sucks... Oh well... I tried and will keep on working, can't expect much unless I can spend money in the gym and give up on some matters... I guess I will prepare for the days when I go out of shape and focus my blog on different content. |
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| 29th Oct 2021 - One of the random days when W asked me out for a jog. it has been a while since our last jog with him, so jogging with him can help him to get out of his daily routine like children and his wife, and just have a chit-chat jogging session. |
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| 31st Oct 2021 - I can't sleep in the morning... I told myself to go for a hike or cycling... it seemed like I just needed to spend some time with my waifu and reading. Having a chilled weekend on Halloween Day. I should dress up for the day XD |
Jeff
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