Personal - Tired of it

Hi Blog,

It will be a short post. Today is Sunday, usually I will spend it on family time or with Heaven or Mother Nature. So what's up today? I must say that this Sunday is quite well-spent!

Morning time to attend my Cousin's baby shower. Here is a picture with my cousins. I remembered two years ago, we came to this place before for their condo-warming. (link) I used to feel lousy at myself for unable to live up to the 'standard' Singaporean, but today I am tired of comparing. I just accept my life and smile. Tired of feeling loser and I will make the best of the situation!

Since I don't own a condo, and I have a chance to visit one... then... I will MAKE FULL USED of the facility. Even though, I don't have the Great body to be Proud of. I am tired of feeling lousy and since we only live once, fat/slim/great toned/whatever - that is ME! I have to learn to embrace my body.

After stuffing myself with food, and packing leftover food for dinner and meal for tomorrow, ZN asked me to go for a jogging session. Despite I am a slow jogger... I feel so tired of feeling to being unfit but at least I still get to jog than giving up/laze around.

Many people had being telling me that I should wear an undies or don't wear trisuit/cycling jersey because I have a awful sight... I know I don't have the size to show, I got it from tumblr and IG, I got it. I feel that wearing an undies under a trisuit will give me more problems in any sense. Worse of all, those people who wanted to correct me, claim that is how others will do... but I disagree. Here are the links to justify (link/link/link) I have to get through my insecurity and lift up my confidence to wear a trisuit, now I need to stop wearing it??? I feel so tired of 'accepting/fit in' how others feel, when they didn't do their own research despite they are out of kindness and with good will, but I have picked my path.

Even when I played my PS4... I can receive comments like wasting time etc. I agreed about wasting time, but I just want to relax and have some Me-Time. When will I have such time at home? Just tired of it... I need to control myself at times... because when I start playing, I can't stop until I got to the next save point. That's me.

There are many things which I am tired of... Like feeling low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and inferior in many ways. Like my friends, S and Eu have said, It is normal to have self esteem issues when everyone do. But one thing for sure, that I MUST never doubt myself - that I am a genuine person to begin with. (I read about it) I just need to let the bad goes and focus on the good. Since I don't have the whatever good exterior which I can't change, I can focus on the inside, which matters the most.

Jeff