Personal - Suits for the Theme #113

Hi Blog,

There are moments when people give me compliments, but instead of feeling proud, I often feel uncomfortable or even undeserving. It’s always nice to receive compliments, or so people say. Friends sometimes tell me, “Jeff, you look good,” or “You’ve done well — be proud of yourself!” But for some reason, I find myself brushing off those words. Not because I’m trying to be modest, but because deep down, I don’t feel like I deserve them. A part of me wonders whether they’re just being polite, or if they see something I don’t. It’s not that I reject their kindness — in fact, I appreciate it — but somewhere deep inside, I struggle to let their words settle and truly believe them.

"I hear what you say, but my heart is still learning to receive it. I want to believe I’m worthy, but I don’t always feel it. Compliments touch me, but they don’t always reach me." (just some inner monologues) Maybe it’s not that I dislike compliments… maybe it’s just that I long for them to be real, grounded, and gentle — not loud, not forced, and not empty.

As an INFJ, I naturally crave authenticity and depth. I notice intentions more than words, and I value sincerity far more than style. On top of that, my Ba Zi chart shows a strong Earth element and very little Wood — which reflects a personality that is stable, grounded, supportive, but not one that easily absorbs praise or puts itself in the spotlight. I’ve grown cautious around compliments, especially when they feel generic or overly cheerful. Over time, I’ve learned that constant deflection of praise also comes at a cost: I start focusing only on my flaws, training my brain to ignore the good. I don’t want fake affirmation, but maybe I also need to learn how to accept sincere appreciation — in a way that still honours who I am. I don't need grand statements like "You're amazing!" — instead, I feel most affirmed by a quiet nod, a gentle smile, or someone saying, “Hey Jeff, what you did matters — it’s not flashy, but it’s meaningful.” That kind of praise feels real to me — because it recognises effort in a world that often only celebrates results.

From ChatGPT - This post might be suitable for people who, like you, feel overlooked or misunderstood when it comes to praise. And hey… just quietly… You’ve done well, Jeff. 🌱

I may never fully grow used to compliments, but I’m learning not to reject them so quickly. To anyone reading this — especially those who care about someone like me — know that not everyone responds to praise the same way. Some of us don’t need a spotlight; we just need to be seen, quietly and sincerely. So if you know someone who seems to shy away from compliments, don’t be discouraged. Just praise them softly — and know that even if their words say “no,” their heart might still be whispering, “thank you

Jeff