Blog - August Overview

Hi Blog,

Lately, I’ve been tangled up in some heavy thoughts about confidence, self-worth, and where I stand in the eyes of society. People often say things like “just be confident,” “ignore the negativity,” or “you’re enough as you are.” These words are kind, but I find myself wondering… does it really work that way? Especially in a world that clearly puts certain people — the good-looking, the successful, the naturally charismatic — on pedestals. The rest of us? We’re left either trying to catch up or slowly disappearing into the background.

Maybe it’s not about how others rank me, but how I choose to respond to the rankings I see. I’ve observed two kinds of people who are completely confident in themselves, but in ways that made me think. One ignores all advice, even if it’s meant to help, and the other shines so brightly in the public eye that they no longer feel the need to reflect on their flaws.

Both seem powerful on the outside, but something inside me wonders if that kind of unchecked self-belief might lead to blindness. I, on the other hand, still take in what people say — good or bad. Sometimes it stings, but I try to use it to understand, not to hate. I don’t want to shut my heart just to look strong. Yet, this openness makes others think I’m weak or stubborn for not discarding the “noise.” It’s confusing… but I now realise, confidence doesn’t mean rejecting every voice. It means choosing carefully what to keep and what to let go — and doing it with intention, not pride.

1st Aug 2025 - I returned to the doctor today to follow up on my mumps after five days of rest at home. Honestly, I didn’t need to go back for a check-up—I already knew I’d recovered. But I used the chance to quietly return to school, just to help with the iPad setup for the upcoming teaching and learning deployment... and then had a quick swim nearby! I wished I could have stayed longer in the pool, but it was safer to keep it short and leave before anyone noticed I was out during medical leave. What a small world, though—I ended up bumping into someone I know, and he was just casually swimming there for hours. Talk about timing!

2nd Aug 2025 - Thank goodness I’d recovered from the mumps in time to attend ScapeSG and help out with PFACSG. Even though the event wasn’t exactly aligned with PFACSG’s usual objectives, I still wanted to show up—in my GUTS team costume! I doubt many people recognised the character, but for me, it’s more about expressing what I love… or maybe even who I wish I could be. Sadly, the event felt a little quiet, as most of the cosplay crowd had gathered elsewhere, like AFA. Still, the highlight was getting to meet a well-known cosplayer in person—famous for her stunning Pyramid Head (lady version) costume! She’s often invited on stage, and honestly, her outfit was amazing. I don’t expect that kind of spotlight for someone like me, but it was such a nice surprise when she let me try out one of her props. Big thanks to PFACSG too, for gifting me a custom Lego figure of myself as a captain—it was such a thoughtful token. And bonus—I got to bring home a whole range of Monster Energy drinks I’ve never tried before!

3rd Aug 2025 - Trisuit Theme #113
(Click here to read more)

4th Aug 2025 - Smiles outside, sorting it out inside. Thanks to my department team for the small and simple birthday celebration for me and MZ. Even though I felt a little like an outcast, I still appreciated the gesture. Some feelings linger, but I’ll manage them on my own. Gratitude first, always.

5th Aug 2025 - I just wanted a quick swim today, but the pool’s been getting more and more crowded lately... It’s getting harder to enjoy peacefully. Unlike some confident “demigods” at the pool, they can snap pictures of themselves without the fear of judgement, I can’t just snap many pictures in front of everyone. I hope this crowd situation fades soon...

6th Aug 2025 - The swimming pool crowd is really getting out of hand lately. I asked the lifeguard, and apparently, this has been going on for a while. Turns out, the nearby SAFRA swimming pool is under upgrading works from 15 July to 14 September—now it makes sense why everyone's flooding in here! When the pool turns into a water parade... just swim through it.

I may not have elite genes or a shining presence, but I’m learning to embrace this grounded version of myself, not by being loud, but by staying true to myself. Maybe confidence isn’t about becoming untouchable — maybe it’s about remaining teachable, without losing yourself. This August, I choose to walk this middle path — where growth and gentleness meet. More to come.

Jeff