Blog - May Overview

Hi Blog,

Everyone knows I carry my own emotional baggage, which has made me feel unattractive in the dating scene and caused me to miss many opportunities. But what people may not realise is that my lack of confidence didn’t stem from the start—it developed over time from understanding certain realities... Most women have preferences for traits they seek in a potential partner, and once they make their choice, they rarely reconsider someone they already know well. Even those claiming character matters more than looks often don't invest time choosing someone like me. It’s not just about confidence; it’s about acknowledging the lower likelihood of being selected and mentally preparing myself to accept that fact early on.

(ChatGPT messed up my eyes; I guess that's how I looked! 😂) I once thought that accepting this reality would help me feel less hurt, that if I numbed myself to it, I could be happier. But emotions don’t work that way. The more I tried to force acceptance, the more I realised that deep down, I still felt the weight of it. Over time, though, I’ve come to understand that confidence isn’t just about external validation—it’s about how I see and value myself. Whether or not others choose me, I am still learning to love myself in a way that isn’t selfish but affirming.

Some people say it’s all in my head, that I’m overthinking, or that I’ve set myself up for failure by assuming women have certain expectations. But I can’t ignore the reality that even men with visible flaws or bad habits are still considered, while I remain overlooked. However, rather than dwelling on this, I’ve shifted my focus to something more meaningful: what kind of person I want to be. That is the validation I am learning to seal for myself, not one given by others, but one I build from within. May I be strong 💪🏼

Personal - Suits for the Theme #110

Hi Blog,

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on some emotional triggers that still affect me. One particular moment stood out during an overseas trip with my aunt and a friend. At the airport, as the tray system for luggage was jammed with long queues, I tried to help by passing used trays back to keep things moving. But when I moved my friend’s bag with good intention, I was met with the harsh comment, “Don’t act smart here.” That line, though short, stayed with me.

It wasn’t just the words—it was what they represented. That same phrase has echoed through my life, especially when I was younger. Whether I was moving snails to safety or quietly closing a lid that seemed out of place, my small acts were often dismissed as unnecessary or even silly. Each time, I wasn’t seen for the thought or kindness behind my action—I was judged from the surface, as if trying to do something good was something wrong.

What truly hurts is not being asked why I did what I did, not being given space to explain myself. I always try to understand others before I comment, hoping to see their perspective. Yet I rarely feel that same courtesy returned to me. Deep down, I just want to be understood—not praised, not rewarded—just understood with an open heart.

Trip - Australia D6 - Returning Reflection

Hi Blog,

Finally, my last post was about my first trip to Melbourne. However, most people thought writing a blog, especially what I was doing, was time-consuming and pointless. Most people will simply save the photos to their phone or somewhere else, where they will be kept and possibly forgotten.

It felt like a form of reflection, recalling, learning, and memory to me. Like, right now, first thing in the morning, I started packing.

While packing, I was reflecting on the entire process and feeling... If there is someone who can care for my plants, I will have to stay longer... Alright, let’s get back to the topic.

Trip - Australia D5 - Beach & Phillip Island

Hi Blog,

After the State Coal Mine, our next plan for the day was to visit Phillip Island and meet some adorable pet penguins. It was highly recommended by my friends.

WC told me there was a road that I was looking for, so I quickly snapped it with my phone, as I couldn't spare any time to hesitate. It turned out to be good enough, if not the best!

Along the way, I asked WC to stop by one of the beaches on Phillip Island, and he agreed! Let's go!

Trip - Australia D5 - State Coal Mine

Hi Blog,

Today marked the fifth day of our trip to Melbourne. Staying at someone's house puts me at ease.

Sitting on a carpet at home is a unique experience, but I understand it requires a lot of upkeep.

Where will we go today? We tried to keep it simple with three locations, starting with the farthest (not as far as the Twelve Apostles), and as the title suggests, WC had never heard of it.