Swimming - Swimming with E and K

Hi Blog,

About nearly two years we have not gathered to engage in an activity together... due to our residential location, different lifestyle age gap etc etc. (my inferior complexity kicked in too)

Swim at Tampines Swimming Pool

Testing my camera like six years ago when we had fun together when I had my llife-proofcasing.

The fat me and two slim fishes.

Two handsome young men, any taker?

No taker? If I am in the picture, you might consider :D

Let's compare my fat with theirs.

V-shape with good genes and handsome Elvis, trying to create bubbles.

Trying to create perfect bubbles

I failed as usual.

Just smile.

Yippee! Kavan managed to create a bubble ring!

The water distortion reallymakesg funny stuff out of Elvis.
Looked like he was naked in the water! Hahaha

UUnderwatershot is interesting but not low enough...
to think again... like this is better, don't want my fat tummy disgust your sight.

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Thought of the Experience

My inferior complexity kicked in every time.. like Many moments I felt envious of them - of slim and rigged tapered bodies, not just theirs but others too... the feeling of owning something which makes us feel good about ourselves. (That's why many hit the gyms and stuff themselves with whey & proteins) I feel so useless myself, like ashamed of my family.... especially when I am still single, undesirable and unworthy... bad genes... no wonder I am still alone... I should not pollute the great gene pool with mine.

Nobody-person like me, desires to be somebody living on the higher ground - get a rich, good life, be envied by others, be successful and attractive, some even want to be desirable by others. All those are distant away from me like electrons... I Guess when comes to achievements; I have nothing to show - not attractive, shxtty genes, not a great body, not wealthy, not a great job etc etc. All those haunted me for years and caused me to feel inferior to others.

I know what you are thinking right now when you are reading (if there is even any).... you will tell me to work hard for it, change my lifestyle, do more workouts, spare more time to find a more prosperous job, be confident and make my genes work for me etc

But to think back.... this strong reminder hit me a Long time ago while I was depressed - "the world does not revolve around me."

Looking back those stuff which made me depressed, are things which I am hoping for. Just like hoping for more electrons surrounding me. But I have completely forgotten that the nucleus (the core of me) where neutrons and photons are the main issues I should work on.

Inside me, my photon (desire) is so great but not enough electrons to neutralise/balance it; that's why I feel imbalanced or unstable. Look at mysurroundingsg - there are many common people like me (yes there are some good and possess whatever good fate/genes whatever) they live a normal life like me. When This statement "the world doesn't revolve around me", what I am thinking or craving is a selfish thought.

Just re-look at those desirable things I wwant which are materialistic and superficial. Those aren't to last, just like electrons, those will break loose from the core.

So what matters is how I adjust my core (desire) by reducing the number of photons and neutrons; and managing my expectations. The fewer the number of nuclei, the lighter I can become, the less desire for superficial stuff, and will be happy.

OOps, I guess I wrote too much... Well, it is my thought process... on my inferior complexity... Ye, the world doesn't revolve around me, I will learn to live for others and myself.

I just have to be strong.

Thumb up for me... Jia you Jeff

Jeff