Hi Blog,
Time passes, but some feelings linger. Even though life moves forward, my mind occasionally drifts back to a friendship that left me feeling both betrayed and disappointed. It wasn’t a heated argument, nor was it a dramatic fallout—just a moment, a shift, a distance that grew between us. Looking back, I ask myself: was I too sensitive, or did I simply expect too much? Maybe it was a small matter, but sometimes, the smallest moments reveal the biggest truths.
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| It all began with a trip, where things seemed fine until they weren’t. A conversation about life choices—where to live, what freedom means—led to a wall of silence I never saw coming. I thought this friend understood me, yet his coldness after that session felt like a quiet storm. |
After we returned from the trip and he departed with a cold wave without a word... Months passed without a word, and when he finally reached out, I found myself unable to respond with the warmth I once had. I didn’t want to be angry, but I couldn’t ignore the weight of the ghosting during and after either. Perhaps time will mend what was lost, or maybe it has already shown what was never truly there. I don’t want to hold grudges, but I do hold onto lessons. And if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that silence speaks louder than words—both his and mine.
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| 1st Apr 2025 - I kicked off April with a short swim, and it felt surprisingly refreshing. Since I forgot my goggles, I simply closed my eyes and focused on the rhythm of my freestyle strokes. It was a small but satisfying celebration for myself. |
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| 2nd Apr 2025 - This evening, my friends invited me to dinner after hearing about something that happened during a meeting I attended. Long story short, I was involved in a planning team for a May event. Since I couldn’t attend the actual class, I prepared a detailed agenda and brainstorming ideas for the team. During the meeting, I did my best to explain our activity's entire concept and flow. I also considered various factors, such as target audiences, facilitators' abilities, and detailed content, but most of them struggled to understand what I was trying to convey. When I asked for their suggestions, no one had any; yet somehow, some members felt I was talking too much, especially since I won't be attending the actual class. Honestly, I don't feel positive about this, but I am glad that my friends understand my intention, which is to contribute and help out the team even if I am not attending. |
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| 3rd Apr 2025 - Today's swim was brief, and I only managed to swim two laps before the lighting warning signal started. Oh well, at least I did something; even if I swam more than usual, it would not help to add abs or muscle to this untoned physique. |
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| 3rd Apr 2025 - M requested dinner before leaving for her next business trip. It was great to have someone see my side of the story, as I had been misunderstood at first. Original Greens offers unique vegetarian cuisine. Thank you for hearing me out today. |
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| 4th Apr 2025 - Seeing everyone transform their photos into Studio Ghibli style using ChatGPT gave me a bit of FOMO, so I decided to try it out with a trisuit picture. The results turned out great, to be honest; what amazing work from AI! Well, in these pictures, I look average and a bit meh, but I love all of them. Hahaha! I asked Chat to try a different filter, and it gave me a Superhero Comic filter and other Easter Egg styles. I love the Ghibli eggs. I understand why everyone has tried the Ghibli style. So, which one do you like? |
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| 6th Apr 2025 - I initially planned to explore an abandoned place today, but somehow, I didn’t feel right about going. Instead, I brought my waifu out and found a quiet spot to enjoy a peaceful reading session. It’s been a while since I had this kind of calm, relaxed moment—and I truly missed it. |
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| 8th Apr 2025 - We humans often overlook the small, hidden graces in our everyday lives, especially when going through challenges. Today, I had a tooth removed—painful, yes—but I’m truly thankful. It reminded me of a health scare back in 2018 (blog post) when I had a big lump on the left side of my neck. Doctors couldn’t pinpoint the cause, but it turned out my lymph node was fighting a hidden viral infection. That infection, it turns out, likely started from a damaged crowned tooth (since teen). Recently, a swelling in my gum revealed just how badly that tooth had broken within. The removal process wasn’t easy, but I see it as a blessing—because if left untreated, it could have led to a more serious operation or affected nearby teeth. Even the cost came with grace—it was manageable and claimable. So while this little pain lingers, I can endure it. For that, I’m sincerely grateful. Thank you, Heaven, for watching over me. |
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| 9th Apr 2025 - I spent months convincing my AM and school leaders to approve a bonsai workshop as part of our staff bonding activity. It wasn’t easy—especially since bonsai isn't something everyone appreciates, particularly those who aren’t plant lovers. Some even find it boring. But for me, it’s a meaningful opportunity to learn the art and patience behind bonsai. And finally, we had it! This was my very first Japanese garden bonsai. I received a lot of help from the instructor, especially with pruning—I honestly didn’t know which parts to trim and which to keep. With guidance, I still did not know where or how to do it, but it turned out quite nicely! I feel a sense of calm and quiet joy just looking at it. "From a chaotic and untamed state to a tranquil state—my very first bonsai attempt. Still learning, still growing." |
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| 9th Apr 2025 - After work, I brought my bonsai along and headed to the swimming pool to meet Sf for a short swim—something we hadn’t done together since our Yishun forest adventure. The pool was crowded but still manageable. Honestly, with my untoned body in a white trunk, I felt like I drew more attention than I wanted—mostly from the parents. Thankfully, their kids were practicing at the far end. At least I didn't end up being a life example for the parents to explain to their kids: " Don't dress like this adult! " Oh well, I guess that's where I got judged for not having a great physique, so I was just doing my own thing and enjoying the moment. At the end, Sf and I struck our pose by the pool for “completion” (similar to the previous Yishun forest exploration) before the storm clouds rolled in. |
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| 9th Apr 2025 - After the swim, I continued with the evening programme—dinner with friends to celebrate our April babies. I gifted the bonsai I had just made to P, knowing he loved plants. The moment he saw it, his eyes lit up, and that made all the effort worth it. Happy Birthday to Auntie JH, ZQ, and P! Wishing you all a year of growth and joy—just like the bonsai. |
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| 10th Apr 2025 - Second day post tooth extraction.
The pain has subsided, and thankfully, there’s no more bleeding, but there’s now a strange emptiness at my left cheek—a void where my crowned tooth used to be. That tooth had been with me since my teenage years, and the root cleaning back then was my traumatic memory towards the dentist. I used to proudly call it my “golden tooth,” a symbol of the pain I endured. Now, it's gone. As I peek into the mirror, all I see is a silent, empty space… like a vacant plot waiting for a new building to rise someday. |
More to come.
Jeff
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