Personal - A Post to someone

Hey blog,

Something had happened and as I predicted in the very beginning when how our friendship started. There is a saying.

It is matter of understanding and learn to see from perspectives. Building a Friendship, learning to see from one another perspective is important, and the trust is also critical. Without this trust, you won't even care how the another face of the coin will look like. And that happened to me...

For those who are reading this post, if you don't know what's going or whom I am referring to, don't waste your time reading this. By the way, I doubt anyone (even that friend who is in the main picture of my post) will read this. 

Writing this post is to express how I truly feel while others misunderstood me of who I am. Only blog knows me. Just yesterday something happened, and my dear friend felt that I was not truthful over our friendship, and whatever he has buried within his thoughts over me exploded. He tried to trust me but I guess he gave his trust but yet to know me well. Not to confuse you, I shall explain how it got worse. 

Busy/Finding excuses 

For me, I am a truly busy person - attending numerous meetings which to be specific, no one will ever understand unless they are involved. On average, I will have four days of meetings and attending classes weekly. Unlike my fellow friends who can hang out without any problem. Yes I had told and swore to continue to contribute and to provide whatever I can to the community. 

If need to rank it, I rank it as my second beside family, the first. Anyway, due to that, I don't have many friends, even though I could have my community as my friends, but not many. Because not many truly know who I am. And also my friends have difficulty asking me out when crush of date. So it becomes like I am finding excuses, so usually I will be left out from their contact list. But I won't mind because it is understandable. I don't blame them.

For that friend, we knew one another barely less than six months. I tried to spare some time to hang out, even some time were short, but i treasured the time to build friendships together. Sometimes he will feel neglected but yet trying to be understanding. (I appreciate that because it wasn't easy)

Appreciative/Take Things for Granted

During the explosion, he mentioned that I take things for granted. I can understand why he felt that way, because he has been giving. (But many things and foods) I really appreciate what he has given to me. So I decided to spare time back in return of showing appreciation since time is precious to me.

As I remember, in the beginning, I won't want to start accepting anyone gift unless we know one another well; to avoid such things happen. Even my best friends, I won't accept things for free.  No matter how poor I am, I won't accept it. But it is also polite to accept when others are giving. So I appreciate that too.

Gay/Not Gay

Many of my friends somehow avoid me or even talk behind my back because of thinking. I don't blame them because no one will understand me and plus clouded by stereotypical thinking.

Yes I have many likes which many homosexual will like - like white trunk or wearing tight. And my actions or behaviour cannot justify I am manly enough.

Here I will clear it out. I am not gay. I have no interest with guys and also gals. I like someone (a girl) yes! 

In the past, I like certain girls (with certain qualities which I fond of) But I am just not worthy to approach them... Because some girls think I am one homosexual. I don't blame them. Anyway yeah, in my heart, women bodies won't attract to me. I spend no attention to woman body and man too - even though some attractive people will grab some glance from me but I only take them as appreciation of art and envy them. 

But my this-friend accepted whoever I am. Don't mind sharing or talk about things which everyone taboos about.  Anyway what is the use when now I got misunderstood. But appreciation is still there.

For him or anyone, I treat them as bro/friends and forever treat as one. I Appreciate everything and if it is time to go back my usual lifestyle, I will go for it even if others think of me whatever they like.

And now I have decided to keep away from people and be myself. 

Jeff