Learning to Float... Swimming has always been something I love, yet even in the water, my mind doesn’t fully escape. I take pictures of myself in my swimming trunks, documenting my journey, but each time I do, I wonder—am I trying to appreciate myself, or am I just looking for proof that I don’t measure up?
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| There’s a strange comfort in swimming, where I can feel weightless, but at the same time, the moment I step out of the water, I’m back to reality. Seeing fitness influencers with their sculpted bodies reminds me of my own struggles with self-acceptance. |
Some of my friends, with good intentions, tell me to stop wasting time feeling lousy and to take control of my life. "Work harder, earn more, prioritize, get a gym membership, eat clean." I understand where they are coming from, but they don't see the full picture of my life. It’s not just about putting in effort—it’s about balancing everything.
There are days I look in the mirror and feel okay, and other days, I see only flaws. But maybe, just maybe, taking these pictures isn’t about proving anything to others—it’s about reminding myself that I’m here, that I exist, that I matter.
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I won’t lie and say I’ve reached full acceptance, but I’m learning. I may not have a godly physique, but I have my own journey, my own battles, and my own quiet victories. And if society only values the "perfect" bodies, then so be it. I’ll still swim, still take my pictures, and still remind myself—this is me, and that’s enough.
Jeff
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