Personal - My 2017 Resolution Reflection

Hi Blog,

Before I start my new year 2018 resolutions. I will reflect my 2017 resolution. It will be a length boring post, so you can skip it.

In my 2017 resolutions (link), I put down three main resolutions:

1. Obsessive with social likes
2. No more wearing trisuit
3. No sharing anymore
4. Pick up new skills and do more workouts

I did some self reflection.

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Obsessive with social likes, I put down Three main areas to improve upon, that I will get jealous, greed for approval and feeling inferior.

I won’t say that I had resolved it completely. Last year, I kept on showering myself with “self-acceptance-thoughts” and repent over how superficial I got for such unhealthy thoughts. During one of my hiking alone, a voice questioned me, if there is a youngster who faces the same issue and seeks my advice, what will I advice?

“Hey Boy, life has more valuable than amount of likes which we gained from social media. Heaven won’t care how many likes that person got; even the high amount of his wealth or living a good life.

What Heaven really cares, is an unsung person who contribute and care for the people around him - family, friends, strangers and even his enemies. The best reward that Heaven will give, isn’t materialistic stuff... But more responsibilities and people for him to reach out; a sense of certainty and stability spiritually. 

If we feel like an empty soul and feeling jealousy, greedy and feeling belittlement, those only proof one thing - we only care ourselves more than people around us and our priority to celebrate our lives “loudly” or “fully”; that is one pitiful life because those glories are temporary.

Example: Good looking and he/she will gain many attentions - Admired and adored by others. People will easily forgive and also give them easy access to success. But when they aged, the 'glory' will wear off, and they will find means and ways to preserve the glories; most of the times, they will get depressed and all they have, is to blat about their fame and success, in order to feel great again. Obviously, there are some people who live in glory and last them until death. Now... ask myself, how many wealthy people who people will remember? How long their beauty/wealth/even social media likes can last in history which worthy enough to help people?

So... I have nothing to feel jealousy or belittle about, because in Heaven's Eye, we are all the same; measure the same.

In Nature, banana comes in range of varieties of colours and sizes. (metaphor for different social statues/look/wealth/appearance, but in people eyes, it is just 'banana'! The difference is created by people.)

Most importantly, I shall play my part to people in need. Different people will influence or reach out people differently. I learned that, I have the desire to reach out for MORE people... To be realistic and practical, Even if I am gained many people attention, how many I can reach out? Heaven knows us well, and I shall leave that Heaven. I don't need to seek for approval from others, because others are still searching for it too; so identify our own self-identity is a great discovery of life.

The difference is created by our own bias and misbelief. What matter is, the end of the day, does the banana serves its purpose? If the smaller banana can share with two people, then that short banana served well. If that long banana can be shared with four people but it only serves two, then it doesn't fulfill its purpose.

There will definitely have someone better than others, so for my inferior complexity.

"Since Feeling Inferior is unavoidable, will building-confidence-wall to cover my shame of myself help? I think back, if I have a great body (which many people gain their confidence from), will I be better? Will it cure my inferior complexity? To be honest... No. Some people gain their confidence from attention and admiration from others; the energy draws externally. The key confidence isn't from great body, but a feeling of feeling good of ourselves and that should be my focus point."

So during 1st Dec 2017, I was walking along the path of acceptance (link) and to be honest, I feel great :)

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No more wearing trisuit. Hmmmm... I still wear trisuit for jogging and hiking, I still wear it with my friends too, if they are comfortable. I am clear of why I am wearing trisuit - Purpose is to motivate myself while engage workout.

I have posted less trisuit pictures on my instagram and I start to get less active in my instagram already. I created a private tumblr account for a place of my workout activities.

You may ask me, why am I posting pictures of myself online??? Just keep it on my phone!

"I will say it is due to YOLO mindset and I want to keep my pictures in a 'space' as my personal memory. Like sharing it on my blog, to monitor my thought process and serve it like a diary. Since my blog and tumblr has almost zero visitors, no one will care about me except some great non-judgmental friends who know my blog. I must thank their sincere support, even though it is not many. One or two is good enough."

I will say... I failed to follow this resolution. Hahahah!

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Stop sharing with anyone. Hmmmm... I will say, I will only share when they ask. Now I invest all my thoughts and experiences here. At least, now I don't feel bad or upset over it. I take it as "learning to be a listening ear."

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Pick up new skills and do more workouts. I want to pick up Japanese language course but I didn't... at least I did learn some new words slowly. I will continue to do so for 2018.

What about workout? Well, I will continue my usual stuff - no stress to achieve anything. Just continue my simple jog, swim and hike. Usually, I won't make a long post about my workout unless there is anything important during my workout, if not, I will share my workout in my random of the month and tumblr. :)

Even though, I don't have a greek god body... Hey! At least I am healthy. :) Right?

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Thank you Blog and some of my readers, I will continue to write and improve in whatever I need to be. I will start my 2018 resolution (post). What is your 2018 resolution? Share with me too!

Jeff