Hiking - Simple Evening hike III

Hi Blog,

Today evening hike part III will be done alone... I will take some time to heal myself.

Even though the weather was not safe for a hike... but it reminded me where and when it began.

I can't change what had happened... Instead of pounding over the pasts... I will take this moment to review myself.

I found that I have this tripod, perhaps it can be a good use today.

Breathe in and let's go!

My mind started to enter the deep thought train.

Life... we will always have dark clouds covered the shine in our journey...

Instead of thinking of a solution, I went online to read how other INFJs handle their own challenges

I read this interesting title "How You Handle Being Judged, Based on Your Personality Type" (link)

Oh yeah, Thanks Miss Sky for stopping the rain here

I guessed today hike will be a quiet one.

But that does not stop visitors with cars to drive in to visit the park

Yes, Thomson Nature Park again. I guess I will take a break visiting here.

Hiking alone gives me time to think...

Hmm... if just now no train, here might be brighter than dark.

Perhaps it was due to my emotions internally.

Time to understand and learn what INFJ will be... I only got to learn more about myself during these recent years than thinking how weird, awkward and stupid I am.

As an INFJ, Judging is part of our behaviour/character but yet... often GREATLY misunderstood by others.

Most people will just categorise us towards those toxic judgemental people...

Quote from this site which I mentioned earlier on, "INFJs definitely don’t like being judged, which is why they can have such a hard time letting people in. They often put up walls to avoid getting hurt by people who misunderstand and judge them. INFJs don’t like feeling exposed to people in a way that can leave them feeling criticized by someone who simply doesn’t understand them. INFJs are deep and complex people, who truly need to be around people who can appreciate their unique and caring spirit."

Wah! Small little creatures just around for you to discover. Okay, back to the topic... I can't say that we are Deep or complex people... But we do truly need to be around people who can appreciate who we are...

Like those insects, they will feel safe around people who appreciate them than people who don't even care for them. For me, I really appreciate them and love their roles and beauty in nature. I have so much to learn from them.

Usually, We always want to see the best in people and give them more chances than they deserve.

Wow! Nice stair here!

I love this place :D Imagination runs wild. Just like my reflection moment, it is everywhere.

Toilet selfie moment

Take some moment to appreciate nature and heal myself.

Even small creature will have a world on its own.

Glad that they showed up themselves to accompany me

Even though I might be sitting here alone, they are everywhere.

Sometimes during their "happy" moments, the grasshopper and I just watched them.

Anyway back to my reflection... When I faced conflicts and how I deal with conflicts?

Like this tiny durian, I know others are like durians, I will learn to accept that is who they are and handle them with care. OR maybe, I am a durian and from other people's perspective, I am the problem.

No matter, I am that durian (problem) or others (their problems), I don’t like conflict. I read more about INJF and I agree that is how I usually handle conflicts. If it’s necessary or inevitable... like someone conflicted me, I will deal with it at my best ability - don't conflict further, as I just want to preserve harmony.

Usually I would remain polite and even hold a kind of hope that they would reciprocate...

When we judged in the beginning, because we just want to see the good in others.

Sometimes... I am just struck on the web... and tangled in it... Like I like peace but it seems like I am the "cause" of the whole problem; all my faults.

Usually other people will advise me to confront and explain to them, share my thoughts and tell them what I truly think of...

But usually... I only make it worst because they are not ready to listen. I can't fight hatred with hatred and expect them to listen, as I might make the best speech that I will regret.

As mentioned, we like Peace, even if someone is being hateful or mean, it just is not right to immediately resort to confrontation.

When I am silent, doesn't mean I have nothing to say...

I just need to wait for the ripe time to share how I feel towards certain topics because I treasure the friendship/bond we have. Like I "judged" you first before I affirmed how much you can take and truly are.

I guess... It is a double edged sword... I judge first while others also judge me too.

Sigh... That's why I continue to blame myself when that happened

But in actual fact... If one doesn't give one another a benefit of a doubt and being understanding... Can jump into a quick judgement to anyone...

So I don't expect others or everyone to think like me, but I will expect I do that all the times before I signed off my conclusion of people.

Peaceful stream... No right or wrong in whatever way it is flowing towards. Eventually it will reach to its destination and it might lead to a wider stream.

I believe whatever starts smooth and quick, will also end quick and sudden.

learning and detach from it, will be my homework.

Like water or even nature, after disturbance, it will enter an equilibrium stage and I will have to learn to equilibrate it too.

This ruin was the good example of "equilibrium" - Before this, it was a living place and now, nature takes over, balance it and fuse as one.

I will learn to equilibrate with myself and whatever had happened.

Another ruin found :) I will return for exploration next time.

As an INFJ will likely avoid conflict when it seems pointless as it will only drain them... It drained me for those past few days, I guessed it is time to walk away.

I will just walk away from a situation, especially if I don’t have much invested to explain... when the people are often either combative/certain...

...it is pointless, I only blame myself for being useless.

Darkness started to consume me again...

At least... When I walked out from the wood (problem), Mr Sun was still waiting for me.

Gave me the last smile before Mr Sun closed the door.

Telling me to go home now.

Thank you Mr Sun. I will.

Time to go home.

Good night Mr Sun.

Enjoy the quiet moment here and read the statement from the site (here) where fully explained why I am still affected by the situation "INFJ might avoid conflict with someone they love. If they truly care for someone they don’t like hurting their feelings or seeing them upset. They often have a bond in their lives which is highly valuable to the INFJ and they don’t want this to get shaken up too much. If they fearful of losing someone, they might work hard to keep the peace and avoid any type of conflict with that special someone."

I guess it is time to accept the fact of the outcome. Life still goes on. As an INFJ, accepting of conflict when it seems entirely necessary and there is an actual problem to deal with.

As an INFJ - fearful of conflict is often this way because we don’t want to hurt someone. It can be a long path for me to overcome those feelings, but it can also be the key to learning how to handle conflict.

I just want to make others happy and don’t want to enter into a situation which might leave people feeling upset or stressed. It will be something which I need to manage myself...

Jeff

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From Jon
You're not a durian (problem)... Even if you were a durian, you'd be all sweet and yummy inside anyways - which you already are from sharing your thoughts on your blog. Just have to find the right person who doesn't mind the smell and appreciates you for being you.