Personal - End of 2015 thoughts

Hi Blog,

It comes to the end of 2015. What are my reflections for this year?

1. Walk out from the Self-created Abyss

I will walk out from the abyss.

I always want to leave the Dark and be the Light but I realised everytime I decided to be positive, people will keep on "pointed" out the dark/stain which I am wearing, no matter how positive I am. I understand that others commented as such (surface of me while I am still unclean yet), as I know my own darkness... I tend to get emotional over myself - Self pity. Self pity isn't a good thing.... because I feel inferior of myself, especially my love life.

But..... I learned something about this Self-Created Abyss. 

Abyss is a deep bottomless pit. Whenever I depressed over of something - which contributed by others and even by ourselves. We simply throw/allow ourselves sink deeper - by simply carrying the "weight which matters to us"; swallowed by the darkness and time freezes - we struck at certain time frame of our life, reminding us why are we carrying those "weights".

What worse is any light cannot penetrate/reach the abyss - any positive comment/view cannot reach us which actually the main antidote to pull us back to the right direction. Sadly in the abyss, we won't sense any direction at all. 

So I learned that we can be upset over matters - it is normal human emotional, but if we allow ourselves to upset too LONG and won't accept the fact that different people have different views toward certain reality, then it will be long lasting darkness.

We must learn to see ourselves are here for a purpose - to learn and to serve, 學習與付出. Every living things have a purpose of living - they did it naturally. You may not know certain living organism purpose of living or even ourselves. That is why we should learn to discover on our own, rather than living by people's comments (like those pictures below)

We can't suit everyone comment. Most importantly we must learn to KNOW ourselves 知"道"；活著是為了什麼而活，知道自己的心的取向． As long as we are moving toward the Light, show the Light to others and shine the Light in the Abyss, nothing matters anymore. Remember words are words, they can't hurt us much than we did it on our own - in the end of the day, you will realise words have no weight at all.

2. SuperPosition Idea Application

Recently, I watched this interesting video - Schrodinger's Cat about superposition.

I learned that in the quantum world, Electron for example, have no fixed position, but it can be at all kind of possible positions; can't be determine until we measure it. And in a larger scale like object (us), we are made of atoms, we may seem like we can't be two places at the same time, but if our view scale up to our galaxy size, we will behave like atom position - sometimes here and sometimes elsewhere. 

In the universe perspective, everything can happen whenever we like it or not. Beside learning to move toward the Light, we have to see reality isn't one kind but inclusive of every good/bad possibility. 

My famous quote which I always used, "Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst. Embrace the Outcome." is to understand everything happened for a reason - Yes for us to Learn; like tossing a coin, there are possibility of either side of the faces.

To accept and learn to adapt all kind of situations with a neural mindset. That is why we can hope for the best, who don't hope for the best? Yet at the same time Prepare for the worst, unwanted outcome. Either we reduce the possibility of the worst outcome, if not, be prepared to face it.

We can learn to

- Widen our horizon of our perspective toward everything. 開拓人生的視眼.

- Have faith with Mother Nature - Everything is a beautiful arrangement. 一切都是上帝美意的安排.

3. Learn to Appreciate every little thing

I have to really thanks my English Teacher, Mr Chong in my secondary school life, he taught everyone - Be Observance, this value manifests in my life and I learn a lot a lot. To appreciate small little thing in life.

Just like this little plant grows out from a bench.
We know that it will suffer - in term of whatever it can get enough water and space to grow.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
At least it doesnt give up in living, continue to do its part in giving and live within its own reach.

I managed to learn to see and appreciate small little messages from Mother Nature. Just like the flower tea gave by one of the teachers, after I poured in hot water, I can see it opened up. Beautiful.

What it is dried, it is just a lump of unnoticeable stuff.
But after a touch of warmness, just look at the beautiful flower. :) 

Together with the positive (Light) mindset, you won't struck in the abyss too long and able us to move on in a neutral and lively mindset; in return, you learn to appreciate.

In the past, I used to think my mother tends to control me and selfish in some sense, but to think again - I realised she actually loves me in her own way. Her love language is different, she cooks and washes our family clothing, worrying for our well being and try not to let us worrying for her. So her love is different, it is just us blind ourselves by our own perception.

Even my elder brother, to think again. He doesn't talk but he cares - in his own way. He helps me buy McDonald toys which he doesn't need to, when he learned I need to give to someone else. 

My sister too. She has a strong sense of righteous and justice herself. Why must I think of her negatively? No. It is just because I don't appreciate and only see things through my own eyes.

Keep up a positive mind with an acceptance understanding - we will constantly learn new thing and appreciate everything

4. Be Positive

2015 is a happening year for me - many beloved and respectable people passed away. Many happenings made me learn newer and wider things. Even if I have to be alone.... I won't regret in exchange of the calmness and carry my mission in life.

I come with nothing, I won't ask from Mother Nature for anything beside more wisdom and responsibility.
I hope I have the capacity to help Mother Nature to do what is right.

Meanwhile.... There is one thing I am still troubled with.......... I really hope it can end well........ I don't wish to carry on that kind of life.......

Tidy my desk and prepare 2016!

5. Keep my thoughts to myself and blog

One last thing I decided.... is to conceal my feeling to blog, won't longer post on Facebook.

Not everyone will understand me, and whatever I posted will turn out negative. I know there will be people advised me to post things/change my writing to positive one. In a superposition understanding, I understand a simple sentence can be seen in many different meaning depending on individuals. It isn't easy and my writing style is personal, only same level will understand. 

So stop posting isn't stand for I am emo or avoid the truth. No, I made this choice is because for the wall-being of my friends who are reading/using facebook - they prefer to read positive posts than negative which doesn't benefit anyone.

To be honest, whether negative posts I see on facebook by anyone - you may have two ways to handle it. (just a sharing) 

- I will pray for that person. Think if he/she is me, what will I do? I will show care and concern if I meet him/her.

- Reply that person, offer some helping "comment" if possible. 

There isn't right or wrong method, but only use method which you care for that person than telling that person.

just like this mushroom - there is good and bad fungi but the primary objective is to help to break down the tree back to earth.

Even bad advise can be a good advise; once we gathered all kind of possibilities - Superposition mode. 

"Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst, Embrace the Outcome." At least, we can learn that even negative input can help us to change the outcome of it.

Jia you! Jeff and blog!

Jeff