Looking back, I realised something that took me many years to understand. Despite what others might think, I never wore a white trunk because I wanted attention. In fact, attention often makes me uncomfortable. If I truly wanted attention, there are many other things I could have done. I could have acted louder, dressed differently, or constantly tried to make people notice me. But that was never my intention.
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| What I wanted was much simpler. I wanted to feel comfortable being myself. |
For a long time, I felt there was an unspoken expectation to blend in. Wear what everyone wears. Think what everyone thinks. Follow the crowd and avoid standing out. The white trunk became a small way of telling myself that it was okay to like what I like, even if it wasn't the popular choice.
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The funny thing is that while I didn't want attention, I still wanted acceptance. I wanted to know that I could be myself without becoming a joke, without being misunderstood, and without feeling that I had to earn the right to exist. Perhaps that is something many of us struggle with. We don't necessarily want to be admired. We simply want to belong while remaining ourselves.
Jeff
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