Personal - I am INFJ

Hi Blog,

It will a lengthy post without any new pictures but some random pictures of me having deep thoughts. Anyway, If you find it is a boring topic, you may skip it, because it matters to me.

I did a test from this 16 personalities (link), the purpose of doing so is to serve as a better understanding of myself. Whereas there are many people in my life, trying to tell/correct/change/label me; as time goes by I am really confused about who I am. And Yes, there are other people who tell me to shut those 'nasty' ones away from my life, but those 'nasty' ones are important in my life journey.

Example. If I chose not to listen to them, and just be myself, I will become a more stubborn and angrier person. Then instead of having them to understand me, it will get worse as their advice will start to target my stubbornness than I desired for a good understanding. When I gave in and listened to their advice, I became emotional as I felt like no one understands me and felt like a lousy person, whereas their advice will be revolving my lack-of-strong-character issues. Then when I learned to 'Man-UP' (tougher up), shut them off and the whole thing repeats. This is just one of the many examples which I don't need to go further.

Honestly, I felt lonely and lost for quite some time ago... If you had followed my blog since 2012-2013 onward, I was trying to figure myself out and trying my best to define who I am. Until I bumped to this 16 personalities test which I hope to find some answer to my life and happenings, and this result really gave me a great boost in my confidence and insight of myself.

The 16 personality types test which was created by Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs, as a way to categorize an individual according to their preferred way of thinking and behaving. From my understanding, our personality will improve/change depending on the situation, but our base-personality will be our first lens to react to our surrounding and happening. Eventually, there is no BEST/WORST personality type in the test as each of them is unique in their own.

And yes, I also know some people debunked this 16 personalities test if you read online. For me, I make it as a basic understanding of myself as it is not cast and stone. Just like Horoscope, it is not 100% true but as I mentioned above, everyone will start to see this world/challenge/problem through their own unique lens; so if I need to know mine, it will be from a non-judgmental and biased people.

Yes? Blog. Oh, you don't know what are those letters stand for?

Perhaps these two videos will help you with a better understanding.

Alright, back to the topic, I did the test and got INFJ (to read more) as my result. Many years ago, my result was ESFJ (to read more). I was surprised to see a big shift in my personalities.

For the Extrovert and Introvert. Many people who know me for many years, took me as an extrovert which I thought and believed I am, but deep in me, I felt very drained time to time; like I was trying to be an extrovert in order to be happy and welcomed. The main reason why I took this test again because I wanted to confirm and understand my weakness and strength properly, but the newer result surprised me and explained a lot. I am an introvert after all.

My previous personality as ESFJ - after listening to these short video summary about it, I can remember that I had been doing this all the time, and somehow some part of me was lost. Like my quiet form.

As my new result as INFJ - It expresses my everything. 

You can try to do the test yourself and back to the topic, I can't believe this page knows me inside out, way better than my family member and at least, from someone who isn't judgmental and give me an overall of how I see the world and reason behind most of my actions. Let me share a few pointers which I don't usually discuss deeper with.

1) INFJs want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

I think back sometimes I got emotional because I trust my personal past (which affected me greatly) to other people and what I got, is judgmental labeled or ignored... What I need is someone who understands, someone who I can trust.

I also don't go for short term relationship or have a relationship for fun. Personally, I treasure every one and should learn to open up to them than introvert about it; whenever I did that, what I got is stereotyping due to lack of understanding from another party.

2) INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

Personally, I have my own set of principles but I always get brushed away... as others think it is okay to forgo my stupid rules/thinkings. I feel so "ignored" as I keep on forgiving them and adjusting myself to maintain our friendship. But time to time, I got wear off... as I feel so useless on myself for being a weirdo...

3) INFJs are Sincere, Sympathetic, Unassuming, Submissive, Easygoing, Reserved and Patient.

When I read those... It seems like I always give others an image of Low Self-esteem and lack-of-personality personality. When and where other people truly know who I am? I feel rather lonely in the past...

But after knowing that is me. I should learn to be proud of myself. In the past, I used to think I am the abnormal one... but now, I am who I am. Why will I allow others to define me when they know nothing about me?

Above three are just some examples of others misunderstand me.

I guess after listening to my fellow INFJ's sharing, I feel at ease. :)

Even other INFJs' sharings in Quora like how other INFJs handle their love life, friendships, the world around them and themselves, I feel so connected. At least, I know one thing that I am a normal people like everyone.

But INFJs also have their own flaws and I will learn to improve on it. I will take my time to explore and be a mature INFJ.

For now, I feel a great relived from my mind and heart jail. Thank you, Blog for accompanying me for all these years. Next time I will write INFJ's flaws in the future and I shall end here for the moment.

Jeff