Hi Blog,
July always makes me reflect more deeply—maybe because it's my birthday month. Another year older, and I wonder, have I grown? Not just in age, but in how I carry myself through life? Birthdays used to feel like quiet reminders of my limits, but now I’m starting to see them as gentle invitations to check in with myself.
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| Looking back, I realise that self-growth doesn’t always look like big achievements. Sometimes, it’s simply learning to be softer with myself. |
I’ve spent years criticising my own actions, trying to meet some imagined standard. But this year, I hope and want to shift from self-blame to self-trust—to honour how far I’ve come, even if it’s invisible to others. This birthday, I won’t make loud promises or resolutions. I’ll just choose to be present. Growth is not about being perfect; it’s about being patient. And if I can offer that patience to myself, maybe that’s the real gift of turning a year older.
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| 2nd Jul 2025 - Today's afternoon was stormy, which I thought was ideal because it would clear up by the evening after I finished work, allowing me to go for a quick swim. What do you know...? I did not bring my camera! Oh my! I misplaced my camera. Oh well, luckily today's swim was crowded, so I will not feel too bad. |
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| 5th Jul 2025 - I have decided to sell my gorgeous Nepenthes truncata x edwardsiana... This prompted me to install a 24/7 air conditioning system with a grow tent setup, allowing it to grow properly. I am glad it is growing well, but my grow tent height is limited (only 35cm) because I have to place it horizontally due to space constraints... One buyer offered to trade with me for another expensive nepenthes. I should let it go. I honestly asked myself... I will not miss it because... I was a little disappointed because I expected a toothy hybrid, but the exchange and receiving a beautiful nepenthes, which I will reveal next time, was a great deal. |
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| 8th Jul 2025 - Today, I had a strong feeling, almost like a calling, to go see the movie Elio. I was prepared to watch it alone, but rather than assuming that others would be unable to join me (when others are preoccupied with their own lives), I should try to ask. Fortunately, KK will not mind watching the movie with me. Personally, I felt like Elio, looking for a place where others would accept him for who he is (just like awkward me), but in the end, he realises that love is all around him. I will not spoil the movie for you; give it a try. Watching something relatable is a true calling for me. |
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| 9th Jul 2025 - Some people have said that if I want an amazing body, I should work hard for it, shut up and stop complaining. While I’ve dreamed of having that confident, powerful, armour-like physique, seeing others and watching a YouTube video of a celebrity sharing the struggles and pressure of maintaining that image made me realise something. I’d rather focus on something I enjoy and that lets me contribute to others. I know I’ll be fine because I can see how much I’ve grown over the years. Jia You Jeff. |
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| 11th Jul 2025 - It’s funny how my emotions shifted after watching that video. Knowing the reality behind someone so admired — that even those at the top struggle with self-worth — made me realise I’m not alone. I know the truth about self-acceptance. I’ve heard it many times. But somehow, the change in me isn’t as quick or obvious as it is for others. It’s like I’m stubborn — stuck in my own thoughts — even when kind people try to lift me up and tell me to move on.
Maybe I just need more time. Maybe this slow journey is still part of healing. Anyway, it is unfortunate that I could not take many pictures by the pool because there were families nearby and my camera refused to connect to my remote... |
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12th Jul 2025 - After a long break from cosplaying, there was an event today called It is Giving Fest for SG60. I felt great in my new costume, but unfortunately, few people came to this event, so I did what I had to do. Another crazy thing I did was walk to public transportation home while dressed in costume. Haha. Yes, crazy me I know.
Mini update! - We got featured in CNA article! 😂 |
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| 12th Jul 2025 - Later that day, my aunts and uncle, along with some friends, paid us a visit at our small house. I had not had such a large crowd at my house in a long time, and there was a lot of cleaning to be done, but I was still feeling great. |
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| 13th Jul 2025 - Sunday morning, I was invited to share the preparation of sushi rice with a group of elderly people. They enjoyed making inari sushi together. I'm glad that the sushi course I attended was put to good use. |
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| 13th Jul 2025 - K had been wanting to go for a hike for a long time, so I decided to take him to visit the old-uncle-banyan tree in the afternoon. We stayed focused on reaching our destination, and I thought we could spend a bit more time there, but the rain cut our visit short. K didn’t want to get his shirt wet, so he went topless and enjoyed the rain; as for me, my trisuit was perfect, just the way I like it. I guess I will want to visit old-uncle-banyan again. |
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| 15th Jul 2025 - Oh my! I couldn't see my back, and my trisuit back zipper was spoilt. I understand that wear and tear are inevitable, so it's a bit sad to see my trisuit getting worn out... But on the bright side, that means I've made full use of it. I guess my body size still fits in this trisuit, and it can be repaired. I'll do my best to keep it in shape so it lasts longer. |
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| 16th Jul 2025 - Oh my... The pool was filled with swimmers who were quite judgemental, especially when I placed my camera stand. I guess I don't have a godly physique to be proud of... I will just do it subtly. |
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| 17th Jul 2025 - Oh my, I finally got a chance to visit Gokul again and meet up with Rd for a meal. Today, I decided to try some dishes I hadn’t tried before, but I think nothing beats their fried rice. It was absolutely delicious! |
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| 18th Jul 2025 - The pool has been super crowded with swimmers lately, and the nice sun made me want to stand openly and snap some pics! Sure, I'm not in the best shape, but at least I tried! |
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| 19th Jul 2025 - After some disagreements over the plans to KL with my aunt, we finally headed out today for a casual shopping trip. I was mainly looking forward to swimming and doing some window shopping. There were so many things I wanted to do at the nearby malls, but in the end... I just didn’t have enough money to spend. |
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| 20th Jul 2025 - Even though I couldn't buy things I wanted, visiting KL was truly a blessing. We found out that Malaysia's customs had a major system glitch, which explained the heavy traffic jam on Saturday morning. The hazy environment from forest fires in Indonesia was also noticeable. Despite setbacks like missing the chance to buy food I like or clothes at the right time or place, nothing beats a refreshing morning swim and peaceful group travel without any arguments. Truly grateful. |
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| 21st Jul 2025 - (Credit C) Today is Racial Harmony Day, and it's my first time dressing up for the event. Took some photos with Teacher C... it might be our last year taking a photo together since he'll be transferred to another school... |
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| 22nd Jul 2025 - Happy birthday to all the July babies! Thanks for letting me join the fun! Oh man, I'm looking so fat now... |
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| 23rd Jul 2025 - A friend of mine shared a post on X that truly touched my heart. Even though I haven't trained with his intensity or reached his level of physique, my busy schedule makes it challenging. His honesty really resonated with me. As I approach 50, I find myself pondering what more I want from life. At the core, I just wish to nurture more self-love. |
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| 24th Jul 2025 - Yippee, my new blue trisuit has just arrived! I really love the design even though it’s the same as the one I already have, especially since it’s no longer being made. This item from eBay is in pristine condition, showing no signs of wear and tear, as the previous owner didn’t have the chance to use it, and it’s a fantastic bargain. A perfect birthday gift for myself. |
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| 25th Jul 2025 - Happy 46th birthday to me! I'm getting older and feeling out of shape, busier, and sometimes can't be bothered, but I have other priorities. At least I'm still surviving and living life to the fullest! |
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| 26th Jul 2025 - I thought I was helping out at a cosplay event today, but it's actually next week. No surprise it felt like a ghost town! |
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| 26th Jul 2025 - Thank goodness SF was nearby, and we went to try out a quiet and hidden vegetarian cafe to satisfy my craving for a vegetarian burger, which I had missed in Melbourne and Malaysia. It made me realise that burgers are my favourite food. 🍔 |
More to come.
Jeff
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