Blog - December Overview

Hi Blog,

Lately, I’ve been observing my thoughts and reactions, almost like watching waves hitting the shore. There are patterns — familiar emotions, recurring doubts, and the same kind of thoughts that like to visit when I feel small. They come quietly, repeating the same story: that I’m not enough, that others are better, that I’m invisible. It’s strange how these patterns can feel like truth when they’re just echoes of old wounds.

But realising something important — a pattern doesn’t have to be permanent. Just because it has been repeated doesn’t mean it can’t be rewritten. Awareness itself is the first act of change. Each time I catch myself sinking into those old feelings, I can choose to pause, breathe, and rewrite the script: “Maybe this time, I don’t have to believe that voice.”

I used to think change meant erasing the past. Now, I see it’s about understanding it — tracing where the patterns began, learning why they exist, and gently guiding myself toward a new response. It’s not about fighting the old, but teaching myself new ways to feel and think.

1st Dec 2025 - I was glad to have lunch with C and G during the school holiday. Having a meal with colleagues is always on my wish list, as it shows they’ve welcomed me into their comfort zone beyond just work.

2nd Dec 2025 - I was supposed to meet T for a swim, but he couldn’t make it. It didn’t bother me, since I wanted to swim anyway after all the rainy days. What made today’s swim special was that the rain stopped right after I finished work. I expected the pool to be empty, but instead, there were some demigod-like youngsters lounging around, showing off their impressive physiques without swimming, just chatting and touching each other’s muscles. I felt a bit lousy... but I focused on my swim.

3rd Dec 2025 - Today’s swim was a spontaneous decision, as I was meeting a seller nearby to pick up a plant. It was just a quick dip, and right after I got out of the pool, the rain signal went off. I was lucky.

5th Dec 2025 - Long day... Helping my sister with her banner and promotion, amending prices, and syncing to display screens... Not just once, but whenever I suddenly notice minor mistakes or a price adjustment, I have to redo it again... Honestly, I don't mind helping, but constantly repeating the steps and waiting weren't effective. However, compared to her challenges, mine are inferior. She faces system issues, lags, and errors. I hope that can be resolved sooner...

6th Dec 2025 - I had planned to cosplay as Captain America or my New Meme character, but ran into a snag—nowhere to store my luggage. So I opted for my Marvel Quantum Suit instead, which made traveling much easier. The taxi fare was steep, so I took public transport home in full costume. Since my helmet wasn’t ready to wear, I carried it around. With my not-so-great face, I mostly went unnoticed, though three visitors recognized my outfit, including friends and former students who greeted me warmly and took photos with my cosplayer friends. Unfortunately, I had no one to help me capture moments with other amazing cosplayers. It was a short trip to Comic Con, and I’m hoping for a better cosplay experience next time. Now, looking at my costume… it won’t last much longer.

7th Dec 2025 - Get Out of Jail Free
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8th Dec 2025 - I have been visiting my sister's stall at Mercure ICON for several days. Today was my only Work From Home day, but I still stopped by to observe the business and assist her in creating an Excel file for her financial calculations, stall design promotion, and pricing adjustments. I'm happy that my knowledge was helpful, but I will definitely feel sore if someone takes advantage of me. I believe that supporting my sister with a strong foundation to start her business is the best help I can offer as her brother — a kind of support that money can't buy.

9th Dec 2025 - Not sure if it's because I've grown older, uglier, or less imaginative... Wearing my favourite white top has become an issue... I feel like an eyesore of the max.. But I know people will encourage me to wear what I like, and I hope I can find my guts and confidence again...

10th Dec 2025 - Trisuit Theme #117
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Every time I choose kindness over self-blame, patience over pressure, I am rewriting my story — slowly, quietly, but meaningfully. These new words may not shout as loudly as the old ones yet, but they’re mine. And that, in itself, is progress.

Jeff

Personal - Suits for the Theme #117

Hi Blog,

As I got older, I realised that my love for fitted clothing and the colour white was never just a random preference. It wasn’t about trying to look bold or different. It was something that quietly rooted itself in me over the years — a mix of imagination, childhood influences, and how I wanted to see myself. These choices were pieces of my inner world slipping into the real one.

Sometimes, the styles we choose carry stories we never say out loud.

When I think back, a lot of my inspiration came from the heroes I grew up admiring — Spiderman, Ultraman, Kamen Rider, Power Rangers… all these masked characters who carried confidence without ever showing their faces. Their suits weren’t just outfits; they were symbols of identity, strength, and purpose. Maybe that’s why fitted clothing appeals to me. It’s not about showing off — it’s about feeling aligned with that quiet strength, even if I’m not as toned or heroic-looking as them. And then there’s white. To most people, white is just a colour. But for me, it has always stood for something clean, simple, and quietly confident. White reveals everything, yet hides nothing — and maybe that honesty attracted me. Even though white trunks, white cycling jerseys, or white trisuits are uncommon or seen as “too risky,” I felt a connection to that boldness. Not the loud kind of bold, but a soft, personal one. A kind of I want to feel like myself bold.

Hiking - Get Out of Jail Free

Hi Blog,

This post was published late on 29th November, but I decided to distribute my content evenly and took my time to draft it. Recently, the weather has been rainy, and I had a location in mind to visit, but my plans depended on my weekend availability and the weather conditions.

Fortunately, Heaven allowed me to step out for an exploration!

There is a place I won't name, but it's somewhere I want to visit before it disappears. While I may not have many details about this location, my intention is to preserve its memory. It has been an interesting part of my entire exploration experience.

Blog - November Overview

Hi Blog,

Over the years, I’ve realised that I actually know my end goals. I know the process, and I even know how to pick myself up when negativity hits. In many ways, the answers and solutions are already in my hands. What I often lack, however, is affirmation.

It’s strange, isn’t it? To know what to do but still feel something is missing.

I’ve come to see that it’s not the instructions or the “how-to” that I’m searching for. It’s that little spark of assurance—the voice that says, “Yes, you’re on the right track. Keep going.” Without it, the path feels heavier, even though I know the direction. What I’m really craving is not more advice, but the warmth of affirmation, the sense that my efforts are recognised, not just tolerated.

For Blog - Live Chat or Chat bot

Yippee Blog,

I've made some exciting updates to my personal blog! There's a new live chat or chatbot feature now, so that the chatbot can handle any enquiries first until you request to chat live with me. I am just testing this out, so I'm not sure how much it can do. Looking forward to connecting with you!

So, the "Drop Me a Message" option will change to "Chat with me." (not using "Live Chat" anymore. I'm not sure if this will be a big mistake, but it is a way to reach out to my followers if there are any.

Alternatively, at the bottom right corner of my page, you will find this chatbot. I think I need to adjust some settings to alert me to join the chat; I am not sure how.

I will keep this post as the main focus for three months, after which I will review it for potential removal. Please share your thoughts by leaving comments on the post; your feedback is valuable. Additionally, this chat function is here for anyone who prefers to receive immediate responses. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Jeff

Personal - Swimming Theme #18

Hi Blog,

The first time I wore my white trunk to the pool, I felt both proud and nervous. It was something I had longed for, something that represented courage to me — yet the moment I stepped into the water, I could sense the eyes on me. Some people whispered; others smirked. My friends teased me, saying I was trying to show off or acting strange. The laughter stung more than I wanted to admit. But I told myself to keep swimming, pretending that I didn’t hear.

“People often judge what they don’t understand — but judgment doesn’t define who I am.” As I continued wearing white, the challenges didn’t stop. Sometimes, I noticed people avoiding swimming near me, or giving that uncomfortable look as if I had broken some invisible rule. I started to wonder if I was doing something wrong — was I being selfish, or just naïve? I also knew the practical side: white could become translucent when wet, which added to the fear of embarrassment. It wasn’t easy to feel confident when every movement made me self-conscious.

And there were deeper worries too — worries about how others might label me. Some might mistake me for someone seeking attention or assume things about my sexuality, and I hated that misunderstanding. I wasn’t trying to make a statement. I just wanted to wear what felt true to me — a colour that reminded me of simplicity, purity, and hope.

Personal - No Nut November

Hi Blog,

It's November again. I wondered whether I should try out No Nut November again. I had tried a few times, like in 2024, 2023, 2021, and 2020. I got more and more experienced, to be honest. I believe this year I will break the record because, as I have aged, especially as a single, unwanted and carrying lousy genes person like me, I would have overcome the urge.

I understand those trigger points and, having gained enough experience from the past, I should be able to manage them.

Warning! For those judgmental and conservative people (guys, gals or whatever) who might be reading at this point. Please stay away from this post because this is not a sexual piece. It’s an honest reflection on self-control, triggers, and discipline during a personal experiment. Some images might not be suitable for anyone with such sensitivity. So I would ask you to skip this.

Hiking - Forgotten Gun Pit

Good morning Blog,

These days, we are having the monsoon season, and it will affect whether I can go for an exploration or if there are any new explorations in Singapore.

After conducting research, I identified a location to explore, and with assistance, I have refined it to a specific site.

Funny enough, when I woke up, the weather was all moody, but I decided to wait a bit to see if I’d get a thumbs up from the Heaven for my adventure today. Looks like I was good to go!

Personal - Suits for the Theme #116

Hi Blog,

Recently, I found myself feeling deeply emotional after visiting a ward where some patients were under “Do Not Resuscitate” status. Many of them had no family members, friends, or anyone left to care for them. Some struggled with mobility or mental health issues, and others simply had no one waiting for them anymore. Seeing that reality was heavy — it made me wonder why life can feel so cruel to those who have no one.

For a while, I questioned myself: am I overthinking it? But I realised it wasn’t overthinking — it was empathy. It’s the part of us that quietly aches when we see suffering we can’t fix. Most people move on from such moments, but for some of us, the heart lingers a little longer.

Perhaps compassion doesn’t always mean doing something grand. Sometimes, it simply means being there — showing up, smiling, or bringing a spark of light into someone else’s day. Even if the world has forgotten them, for that brief moment, they are seen again.