Blog - November Overview

Hi Blog,

Over the years, I’ve realised that I actually know my end goals. I know the process, and I even know how to pick myself up when negativity hits. In many ways, the answers and solutions are already in my hands. What I often lack, however, is affirmation.

It’s strange, isn’t it? To know what to do but still feel something is missing.

I’ve come to see that it’s not the instructions or the “how-to” that I’m searching for. It’s that little spark of assurance—the voice that says, “Yes, you’re on the right track. Keep going.” Without it, the path feels heavier, even though I know the direction. What I’m really craving is not more advice, but the warmth of affirmation, the sense that my efforts are recognised, not just tolerated.

Personal - Swimming Theme #18

Hi Blog,

The first time I wore my white trunk to the pool, I felt both proud and nervous. It was something I had longed for, something that represented courage to me — yet the moment I stepped into the water, I could sense the eyes on me. Some people whispered; others smirked. My friends teased me, saying I was trying to show off or acting strange. The laughter stung more than I wanted to admit. But I told myself to keep swimming, pretending that I didn’t hear.

“People often judge what they don’t understand — but judgment doesn’t define who I am.” As I continued wearing white, the challenges didn’t stop. Sometimes, I noticed people avoiding swimming near me, or giving that uncomfortable look as if I had broken some invisible rule. I started to wonder if I was doing something wrong — was I being selfish, or just naïve? I also knew the practical side: white could become translucent when wet, which added to the fear of embarrassment. It wasn’t easy to feel confident when every movement made me self-conscious.

And there were deeper worries too — worries about how others might label me. Some might mistake me for someone seeking attention or assume things about my sexuality, and I hated that misunderstanding. I wasn’t trying to make a statement. I just wanted to wear what felt true to me — a colour that reminded me of simplicity, purity, and hope.

Personal - No Nut November

Hi Blog,

It's November again. I wondered whether I should try out No Nut November again. I had tried a few times, like in 2024, 2023, 2021, and 2020. I got more and more experienced, to be honest. I believe this year I will break the record because, as I have aged, especially as a single, unwanted and carrying lousy genes person like me, I would have overcome the urge.

I understand those trigger points and, having gained enough experience from the past, I should be able to manage them.

Warning! For those judgmental and conservative people (guys, gals or whatever) who might be reading at this point. Please stay away from this post because this is not a sexual piece. It’s an honest reflection on self-control, triggers, and discipline during a personal experiment. Some images might not be suitable for anyone with such sensitivity. So I would ask you to skip this.

Hiking - Forgotten Gun Pit

Good morning Blog,

These days, we are having the monsoon season, and it will affect whether I can go for an exploration or if there are any new explorations in Singapore.

After conducting research, I identified a location to explore, and with assistance, I have refined it to a specific site.

Funny enough, when I woke up, the weather was all moody, but I decided to wait a bit to see if I’d get a thumbs up from the Heaven for my adventure today. Looks like I was good to go!

Personal - Suits for the Theme #116

Hi Blog,

Recently, I found myself feeling deeply emotional after visiting a ward where some patients were under “Do Not Resuscitate” status. Many of them had no family members, friends, or anyone left to care for them. Some struggled with mobility or mental health issues, and others simply had no one waiting for them anymore. Seeing that reality was heavy — it made me wonder why life can feel so cruel to those who have no one.

For a while, I questioned myself: am I overthinking it? But I realised it wasn’t overthinking — it was empathy. It’s the part of us that quietly aches when we see suffering we can’t fix. Most people move on from such moments, but for some of us, the heart lingers a little longer.

Perhaps compassion doesn’t always mean doing something grand. Sometimes, it simply means being there — showing up, smiling, or bringing a spark of light into someone else’s day. Even if the world has forgotten them, for that brief moment, they are seen again.