Jeffery's Diary

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Blog - May Overview

Hi Blog,

Everyone knows I carry my own emotional baggage, which has made me feel unattractive in the dating scene and caused me to miss many opportunities. But what people may not realise is that my lack of confidence didn’t stem from the start—it developed over time from understanding certain realities... Most women have preferences for traits they seek in a potential partner, and once they make their choice, they rarely reconsider someone they already know well. Even those claiming character matters more than looks often don't invest time choosing someone like me. It’s not just about confidence; it’s about acknowledging the lower likelihood of being selected and mentally preparing myself to accept that fact early on.

(ChatGPT messed up my eyes; I guess that's how I looked! 😂) I once thought that accepting this reality would help me feel less hurt, that if I numbed myself to it, I could be happier. But emotions don’t work that way. The more I tried to force acceptance, the more I realised that deep down, I still felt the weight of it. Over time, though, I’ve come to understand that confidence isn’t just about external validation—it’s about how I see and value myself. Whether or not others choose me, I am still learning to love myself in a way that isn’t selfish but affirming.

Some people say it’s all in my head, that I’m overthinking, or that I’ve set myself up for failure by assuming women have certain expectations. But I can’t ignore the reality that even men with visible flaws or bad habits are still considered, while I remain overlooked. However, rather than dwelling on this, I’ve shifted my focus to something more meaningful: what kind of person I want to be. That is the validation I am learning to seal for myself, not one given by others, but one I build from within. May I be strong 💪🏼