Hi Blog,
Over the years, I’ve realised that I actually know my end goals. I know the process, and I even know how to pick myself up when negativity hits. In many ways, the answers and solutions are already in my hands. What I often lack, however, is affirmation.
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| It’s strange, isn’t it? To know what to do but still feel something is missing. |
I’ve come to see that it’s not the instructions or the “how-to” that I’m searching for. It’s that little spark of assurance—the voice that says, “Yes, you’re on the right track. Keep going.” Without it, the path feels heavier, even though I know the direction. What I’m really craving is not more advice, but the warmth of affirmation, the sense that my efforts are recognised, not just tolerated.
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| 1st Nov 2025 (Part 1) - My November weekends are precious. I don't see myself being able to go for an exploration, but I have other things to share with you, especially when I looked through my schedule. For today, I had many things I needed to do, like errands in the morning, collections in the afternoon, classes in the evening, and an online meeting at night. Overwhelming, but thank goodness, two items were at the same place, and I got to go for a quick swim at SKK's condo, which helped to ease my day. If not, I would feel so fat now. |
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| 1st Nov 2025 (Part 2) - Thanks, SKK, for bringing me to the plot to collect this unique ginger plant. It was massive (actually manageable) because its leaves spread widely apart. Why is this so special? You may Google 'shampoo ginger'. I already have the red rounded flower – Zingiber zerumbet – and this one carries a yellow flower – Zingiber spectabilis. |
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| 2nd Nov 2025 - In case you missed out, I got this quantum helmet in February 2024 (post link). I was very disappointed with the quality of the helmet. So I paid Des a not-small fee, but it was meant for processing work, to help me reprint this rather than throw it away and get it ready for this year's Halloween. However, Des managed to complete the whole painting later. Anyway, he did a great job in painting and enhancing the colour of the helmet. For now, I will have to get an LED and sponges for the inside. |
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| 3rd Nov 2025 - I decided to take out my spare trisuit, which I had gotten a long time ago as a replacement for my blue trisuit. Did you notice the zipper on this trisuit? It's new, unlike the zippers on my other trisuits, which have worn out. I figured I might as well wear it instead of letting it sit unused. I also had dinner plans with M at Woodlands, so I thought I’d go for a quick jog at Ulu Sembawang while wearing it. However, I needed to take the bus, and it took nearly an hour to get there. By the time I arrived, the sky had already darkened, meaning I could only jog for a short while. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, as this way, I wouldn't be overly sweaty and risk staining the seat. I’m grateful that M was okay with me wearing the trisuit. |
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| 4th Nov 2025 - After many months of hard work, arrangement, and dealing with vendors and building owners, my sister finally got the licence to start a coffee shop and obtained licences for food, electricity, and water. Today I went down to help her out with tidying and sorting out some stuff with my mother. I am no rich person; all I can do is contribute my help in any way. I hope her business will be smooth sailing. |
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| 5th Nov 2025 - I got this ring light for one of my new cosplay props, but it doesn't work with USB... I'm so disappointed... I thought I could use it as a halo ring. Since I cannot use it, I shall donate it to my workplace and pose like what I wished it could be. Do I look holy like this? Haha |
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| 6th Nov 2025 - I wanted to go for a quick jog, but the weather was not friendly, so I decided to lift some dumbbells to work out. I'm trying my best to do three sets, and I know it is awkward to take off everything to work out, but at least I don't feel too warm, smelly, and sweaty. Don't judge me. |
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| 11th Nov 2025 - After returning from the resort, I need to take individual photos of all the teaching staff, including myself. I’m not thrilled about snapping pictures of myself, as too many hurtful inner voices make me feel lousy. I know I’m not the best-looking, but I need to learn to accept myself. On the bright side, I still look decent for my age, and my smile feels like the one thing that can lift me out of the darkness. |
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| 12th Nov 2025 - Many times, people tell me that I SHOULD spend money and time to pump some iron if I’m feeling dissatisfied with my body. They suggest I SHOULD do something about my untoned figure. Little do they know, I have been doing push-ups and using dumbbells at home—someone gave them to me because they wanted to invest in heavier and better equipment in their room. Personally, I’m grateful to own such expensive equipment. I may not have impressive muscles like those demigods, but at least I feel strong mentally, in my arms, and even with my fat tummy. |
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| 14th Nov 2025 - Wearing my safari shirt to work, I received some mixed feedback. Overall, they feel that I look like a safari ranger. If I were given such a chance, and the salary were acceptable, I wouldn't mind giving it a try. |
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| 16th Nov 2025 - When I shopped around with my family, I saw a new stall, Green Party, in PLQ. One thing that caught my attention from afar was a giant otter plushie! I saw this in Korea, but I didn't get it then. Now I see it here! The temptation came when I checked the price! Oh my god! It costs $19.90?! Seriously! I thought it would cost nearly 40+ or 50+, which I wouldn't get, but 19.9?! It is going home with me! |
Affirmation doesn’t change the path itself, but it makes the journey lighter. And while I cannot always expect others to provide it, I’m learning to cultivate it within myself—to pause and say, “Jeff, you’ve done well.” Sometimes, that small whisper of self-affirmation is the exact thing I need to keep walking steadily forward.
Jeff
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