Blog - July Overview

Hi Blog,

July always makes me reflect more deeply—maybe because it's my birthday month. Another year older, and I wonder, have I grown? Not just in age, but in how I carry myself through life? Birthdays used to feel like quiet reminders of my limits, but now I’m starting to see them as gentle invitations to check in with myself.

Looking back, I realise that self-growth doesn’t always look like big achievements. Sometimes, it’s simply learning to be softer with myself.

I’ve spent years criticising my own actions, trying to meet some imagined standard. But this year, I hope and want to shift from self-blame to self-trust—to honour how far I’ve come, even if it’s invisible to others. This birthday, I won’t make loud promises or resolutions. I’ll just choose to be present. Growth is not about being perfect; it’s about being patient. And if I can offer that patience to myself, maybe that’s the real gift of turning a year older.

2nd Jul 2025 - Today's afternoon was stormy, which I thought was ideal because it would clear up by the evening after I finished work, allowing me to go for a quick swim. What do you know... I did not bring my camera! Oh my! I misplaced my camera. Oh well, luckily today's swim was crowded, so I will not feel too bad.

4th Jul 2025 - Swimming Theme #15
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5th Jul 2025 - Three Forests along Serangoon River
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5th Jul 2025 - I have decided to sell my gorgeous Nepenthes truncata x edwardsiana... This prompted me to install a 24/7 air conditioning system with a grow tent setup, allowing it to grow properly. I am glad it is growing well, but my grow tent height is limited (only 35cm) because I have to place it horizontally due to space constraints... One buyer offered to trade with me for another expensive nepenthes. I should let it go. I honestly asked myself... I will not miss it because... I was a little disappointed because I expected a toothy hybrid, but the exchange and receiving a beautiful nepenthes, which I will reveal next time, was a great deal.

8th Jul 2025 - Today, I had a strong feeling, almost like a calling, to go see the movie Elio. I was prepared to watch it alone, but rather than assuming that others would be unable to join me (when others are preoccupied with their own lives), I should try to ask. Fortunately, KK will not mind watching the movie with me. Personally, I felt like Elio, looking for a place where others would accept him for who he is (just like awkward me), but in the end, he realises that love is all around him. I will not spoil the movie for you; give it a try. Watching something relatable is a true calling for me.

9th Jul 2025 - Some people have said that if I want an amazing body, I should work hard for it, shut up and stop complaining. While I’ve dreamed of having that confident, powerful, armour-like physique, seeing others and watching a YouTube video of a celebrity sharing the struggles and pressure of maintaining that image made me realise something. I’d rather focus on something I enjoy and that lets me contribute to others. I know I’ll be fine because I can see how much I’ve grown over the years. Jia You Jeff.

More to come.

Jeff

Hiking - Three Forests along Serangoon River

Hi Blog,

What should I do on Saturday morning? Of course, go hiking! Let's go! There are numerous locations to revisit to refresh my memory.

Plus, today is July 5th, and there are rumours that a massive earthquake will occur near Japan. Personally, life is still going on. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Worrying will not help the day, but I was worried about it raining heavily. Let's see how. So, where shall I go?

Personal - Swimming Theme #15

Hi Blog,

These days, I have realised how much shame and anxiety can arise from simply having an untoned, not-so-great body, especially when we are constantly bombarded with images of chiselled, god-like physiques online or in real life. It feels even heavier when I consider all of the qualities I lack—the ones that seem to be most important in attraction and social approval. I lack the "flex appeal" that some women seek to own or associate with, or, in other words, I do not have the type of body that automatically attracts admiration. And sometimes it feels like even my positive qualities, such as kindness or thoughtfulness, are overlooked when they come in this "meh" package like mine.

Funny how it’s not always the body itself that hurts most—it’s the meaning we attach to it.

People around me are constantly telling me to "just go for it," "hit the gym," and "if you really want it, make time." But it is not that simple. It’s not laziness—it’s life. I wish I had the time, energy, and resources to solely focus on transforming my body. But the truth is that I am not sitting around doing nothing. I swim, hike, cycle, and jog whenever I can fit it into my packed schedule. I even try to eat better, even if it means finishing food for others who cannot. I understand that having a toned body requires more than just exercise—it takes a consistent diet, targeted workouts, discipline, and maintenance. I am not dreaming as I try.

Blog - June Overview

Hi Blog,

This June began unexpectedly: my left ear became muffled for more than a week. At first, I thought it would go away, but it persisted until I saw a doctor. He explained that it was earwax impaction. I started the treatment and gradually adjusted to being half-deaf. As strange as it sounds, the silence in one ear forced me to listen more deeply to myself.

It reminded me of how I sometimes respond to the advice of others—half-listening. Not because I do not care, but because I know exactly what changes I need to make. What holds me back is how people frequently rush to judgement rather than trying to understand. I am tired of being labelled as negative simply because I open up. Maybe what I’m really asking for is not answers but trust and space to grow at my own pace.

I discovered that something as simple as a blocked ear can serve as a mirror for self-awareness. I do not always need to "fix" things right away. Sometimes I just need to be patient with myself, accept my flaws, and make room for quiet healing. If others don’t understand, that’s okay—what matters is that I am beginning to understand myself.

Personal - Five Days Korea Trip with my Mother

Hi Blog,

I decided to bring my mom on a trip to Korea — just the two of us. This is the first time I’m holidaying with her on my own, without friends or other relatives, and it feels both significant and a little intimidating. I wanted to make the most of this opportunity while we’re still healthy and able to travel together. My main aim was not just sightseeing, but also strengthening our bond, creating happy memories, and hopefully gaining a better understanding of each other. I believe this trip is an opportunity for me to show my mom that I care for her, appreciate her, and want to make the most of the time we have together.

Day 0 – Time to travel!

Before we left, I was worried about the potential struggles we might face. I know from our past that communication can be difficult — sometimes I feel I’m not being heard, or even that I’m misunderstood. This made me nervous about whether we’d enjoy the trip or if conflict might arise and spoil the experience. I was afraid I might become stressed or discouraged, rather than strengthening our relationship. Nevertheless, I chose to be brave, to appreciate the moment, and to do my best to make it a warm and meaningful holiday for both of us.