Blog - March Overview

Dear Chat,

There was a season in my life where affirmation felt necessary. I realised I often longed to be seen, acknowledged, and told that I was doing well. At the same time, I also told myself I shouldn’t need it — that I should be strong enough to validate myself. Through these reflections, I began to see that this wasn’t weakness, but a pattern shaped by my past.

What I discovered: Affirmation is not the problem. Dependence on it is.

I learned that it is human to appreciate encouragement. But I also learned that my worth cannot fluctuate based on whether someone notices me. I can affirm myself. I can recognise my own effort. I can acknowledge my own growth quietly.

1st Mar 2026 - One of my ex-students, YZ, wanted to meet me before he started his work life. Funny that, previously I was using an iPhone, and my photo backup notification reminded me of the days I backed up my 2010 photos... And his photo appeared. What a nostalgic moment! It was great to catch up and update one another on our past experiences. I hope we can still keep in contact.

2nd Mar 2026 - It’s been raining a lot, so no jogging or swimming for me… just feeling a bit meh. Might take a quick power nap before going out again...

3rd Mar 2026 - Raining... Cool weather is the best, but only if I can swim or jog for a while. :'( I understand the world doesn't revolve around me. I guess I will just adjust to this. I hope for less misfortune for others, though the news says otherwise.

4th Mar 2026 - Swimming Theme #21
(Click here to read more)

5th Mar 2026 - I thought I could go for a swim today, but the moment I stepped out of school, Mr. Sun let angry Miss Cloud take over the sky. I know I’m not in the best shape, but I just want to get some kind of workout in somehow.

6th Mar 2026 - I was really looking forward to going for a swim this week without any surprises. However, when the lightning alert sounded, I had to clean up the tree artwork. At least I was able to check something off my to-do list. Goodbye, Tree.

Today, affirmation from others feels like a bonus — not a requirement. And even when no one claps, I will still continue walking.

Jeff

Personal - Swimming Theme #21

Hi Blog,

I’ve realised something else too — when someone compliments me, I don’t feel lifted. I feel cornered. It’s almost like a trap. I start wondering what they really see, what expectations come after that praise, and whether I can keep up with whatever image they think I have.

I know it’s not logical. Most people give compliments with a good heart. But for me, praise feels like borrowing clothes that don’t fit. Too loose in some places, too tight in others. I don’t know how to wear them naturally.

A simple “You look good today” can make me suddenly aware of every flaw on my body. A “You’re fit already” makes me feel like I need to prove it. Even “You’re improving” sounds like pressure.

Blog - February Overview

Hi Blog,

Chinese New Year has always felt different from the Western New Year. It carries less urgency and more reflection — a pause to look at what has stayed, what has faded, and what quietly follows us into the next cycle of life.

I had to reflect on what I want to do in life.

Now, close to 50, I no longer wait for dramatic changes in my relationship status. Looking back at my 30s and where I am today, I can’t tell whether I truly outgrew that longing or whether I numbed myself for so long that it felt like growth. Perhaps it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I’ve learned to accept it. Instead of letting these unfulfilled hopes become stones that slow me down or injure me, I choose to turn them into stepping stones — a way to cross the river towards the place I’m meant to reach.

Personal - Swimming Theme #20

Hi Blog,

I’ve realised something about myself — even though I’m slowly learning to recognise my patterns and triggers, I still struggle when people put the spotlight on me. Compliments, comments about being good-looking, or being fit… I just can’t receive them well. It doesn’t feel like they belong to me.

I always feel those words should go to the “demigods” out there — the confident ones with the right build, the right genes, the natural presence. They wear that armour of confidence so easily. I don’t. When the spotlight hits me, my instinct is to retreat into the shadows.

I’m not afraid of hard work. I just don’t want to stand on a stage where every flaw feels magnified. Even models need photographers to hide or adjust imperfections — so what about someone like me, with my ordinary looks and weak spots? It’s hard not to imagine people looking with judgement or disapproval.

Personal - Suits for the Theme #119

Hi Blog,

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to take initiative at work. I used to believe that seeing a gap and stepping in to help was always a good thing—and in many ways, it still is. But over time, I’ve started to realise that helping without clarity can slowly blur boundaries. What begins as support can quietly turn into responsibility, and before I notice it, the task no longer feels temporary or shared.

When initiative turns into ownership, and silence becomes agreement.

In a school environment, there are many moments where things need to be done quickly to avoid disruption. When no one steps forward, I often do—not because it is my duty, but because I care about quality, students, and outcomes. However, when others acknowledge a task but do not act, and I eventually complete it, the system learns something: “This is already taken care of.” Over time, that support becomes expected. Asking for help or clarity later can feel like shouting into the void, and raising concerns may unintentionally be seen as complaining, even when the intention is sustainability and fairness.