Hi Blog,
As I grew older, those quiet thoughts didn’t disappear. They simply became softer, more hidden — showing up in small moments. A glance at someone more confident, a passing comparison, or even just the feeling of being unnoticed in a crowd. I told myself I had accepted things, but deep down, something still lingered.
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| Sometimes, it’s not loud insecurities that stay with us… but the quiet ones we learn to live with. |
I began to realise that it wasn’t just about how I looked, but how I believed others would see me. That belief slowly shaped how I carried myself — more reserved, more careful, sometimes holding back before even trying. Not because I couldn’t, but because a part of me had already decided where I stood.
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| 1st May 2026 (part 2) - I have to be thankful and show my appreciation towards this seller @kraomuustudio in the Pets and Plants Extravaganza. Yesterday I got myself these beautiful pink 🩷 leaves caladium (have you ever seen a completely pink leaves plant?) Anyway, when I started to pot them, I noticed one of the Caladiums was a bit rotten from its corm (refer to the left plant in my image, you will notice the brownish fluid). So I went back to seek advice from the boss to see whether the corn will survive (my first time growing Caladium). I didn't expect anything from him; he apologised and wanted me to take one of the Caladiums on sale as compensation. (he doesn't need to, because it's my fault for being inexperienced in picking) He mentioned he doesn't want his customers to grow a dying plant and opened up to check the picked Caladium corn to ensure it's still fresh. What an honourable gesture from him. Respect! I hope Singaporeans and others buy more of his plants. 😊👍🏼 |
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| 2nd May 2026 (part 2) - Something cute and random. Have you watched the movie Hoppers? Or have you come across some random video clip about a green lizard named Tom doing some random stuff? Honestly, it was random and overly adorable. I purchased a blind box of it, my very first blind box purchase. What do you think of it? They are really cute. |
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| 2nd May 2026 (part 3) - Thanks to SKK for bringing me to Emart so I could get myself a pair of jogging shoes. Finally, I got to wear comfortable shoes for jogging instead of finding excuses not to jog last month... But honestly, it really hurt to jog in stiff, hard shoes. I know I am fat, and no one bothers me; however, I do it for myself. |
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| 3rd May 2026 (part 1) - Speaking of my stiff, hard shoes, I wore them for cycling! I am feeling great to repurpose something. Yes, I cycled out to deliver something to my friend who stays in the North, and ended up chatting with his wife for hours. At least, I got to bring my waifu out. |
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| 3rd May 2026 (part 2) - I went back to the Pets and Plants Extravaganza today since it was the last day of the event, and I wanted to see what was still available. I stumbled upon this tiny variegated Dwarf White Striped Bamboo! It looks so cute, and I even received a discount for this pot of grass. Hahaha. |
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| 4th May 2026 - This was my first time purchasing bromeliads from an overseas seller during their live sale, and it finally arrived! After paying for the phytosanitary certificate and the delivery fee, the cost of the plants increased to 1.5 times their original sale price. Regardless, it has arrived, so let’s check it out! Unfortunately... disappointment loaded... |
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| 5th May 2026 - Okay, I decided to do this... To properly share my disappointment... I recently purchased several bromeliads from an overseas seller through a live sale, carefully documenting my selected plants and even requesting a confirmation photo before shipment, which was acknowledged but not provided. When the plants arrived, most were not the ones I had chosen, with only one matching the original order, and many appeared quite stressed from shipping. While I understand that international transit can affect plant condition, the mismatch in the order was disappointing. I’ve documented a comparison of the selected versus received plants for my own reference, and I’m sharing this experience as a gentle reminder to always request clear confirmation before shipping and to proceed cautiously when purchasing plants across borders. |
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| 6th May 2026 - Today, Heaven allowed this-fat-me a chance to enjoy a quick swim and healing before heading to a meeting. Thinking back to something that happened yesterday—my plant experience—and reflecting on my spending priorities... I should stop spending money on more plants and use it for a gym membership, and stop telling others I don't have money for the gym. I should stop giving myself excuses... On the surface, most people will give advice that sounds “logical” — discipline, priorities, a low-cost gym — all very typical. The problem is, no one can really understand the situation without knowing the context of my life—my commitments, the value the plants bring me, and the potential issues with me going to the gym. I don’t expect anyone to get it; I just let people think I’m lazy and full of excuses. Yes, I’m fat, and I’m tired of explaining. |
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7th May 2026 - Finally, I can wear a pair of proper jogging shoes, so I jogged to visit my friend's house nearby and had a quick dinner with him to catch up on his Japan trip. I guess... everyone isn't comfortable seeing a fat man in an ugly trisuit like this.
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9th May 2026 - Taiping Sepatang Tour
(Drafting) |
But maybe that’s what makes it worth reflecting on now. Because these thoughts didn’t come from nowhere — they were learned, absorbed, and quietly accepted over time. And if they were learned, perhaps… they can also be unlearned, one step at a time.
Jeff
