Blog - August Overview

Hi Blog,

Lately, I’ve been tangled up in some heavy thoughts about confidence, self-worth, and where I stand in the eyes of society. People often say things like “just be confident”, “ignore the negativity”, or “you’re enough as you are.” These words are kind, but I find myself wondering… does it really work that way? Especially in a world that clearly puts certain people — the good-looking, the successful, and the naturally charismatic — on pedestals. The rest of us? We’re left either trying to catch up or slowly disappearing into the background.

Maybe it’s not about how others rank me but how I choose to respond to the rankings I see. I’ve observed two kinds of people who are completely confident in themselves, but in ways that made me think. One ignores all advice, even if it’s meant to help, and the other shines so brightly in the public eye that they no longer feel the need to reflect on their flaws.

Both seem powerful on the outside, but something inside me wonders if that kind of unchecked self-belief might lead to blindness. I, on the other hand, still take in what people say — good or bad. Sometimes it stings, but I try to use it to understand, not to hate. I don’t want to shut my heart just to look strong. Yet, this openness makes others think I’m weak or stubborn for not discarding the “noise”. It’s confusing… But I now realise confidence doesn’t mean rejecting every voice. It means choosing carefully what to keep and what to let go — and doing it with intention, not pride.

Hiking - Revisit Nee Soon House

Hi Blog,

I awaited ideal conditions and a suitable chance to undertake today's expedition – the Nee Soon house. (not the actual name) In the previous post, I attempted exploration but was thwarted by a sudden rush of diarrhea and was unable to locate the entrance.

Looking good today.

I had a feeling that today could be successful. I attempted to research the house online, but I only found pictures shared on Reddit. Nothing more towards it.

Personal - Fell into an Otter’s World

Hi Blog,

I still remember my first trip to Korea (post on 4th Oct 2024) — the cool air, the endless streets of little shops, and the way everything felt so new. Somewhere in the middle of it all, I saw them: two otter plushies, one light brown, one dark.

(credit unknown resource) They were sitting side by side on a shelf, like a little couple in their own world.

Two otter plushies were sitting side by side on a shelf in a tiny shop, tucked among other plush toys, vying for attention. I lingered there longer than I intended, feeling that strange, warm tug in my chest. It sounds silly now, but at that moment, I felt like I was intruding on their togetherness. I couldn’t take both home — not yet...

Personal - Suits for the Theme #113

Hi Blog,

There are moments when people give me compliments, but instead of feeling proud, I often feel uncomfortable or even undeserving. It’s always nice to receive compliments, or so people say. Friends sometimes tell me, “Jeff, you look good,” or “You’ve done well — be proud of yourself!” But for some reason, I find myself brushing off those words. Not because I’m trying to be modest, but because deep down, I don’t feel like I deserve them. A part of me wonders whether they’re just being polite, or if they see something I don’t. It’s not that I reject their kindness — in fact, I appreciate it — but somewhere deep inside, I struggle to let their words settle and truly believe them.

"I hear what you say, but my heart is still learning to receive it. I want to believe I’m worthy, but I don’t always feel it. Compliments touch me, but they don’t always reach me." (just some inner monologues) Maybe it’s not that I dislike compliments… maybe it’s just that I long for them to be real, grounded, and gentle — not loud, not forced, and not empty.

As an INFJ, I naturally crave authenticity and depth. I notice intentions more than words, and I value sincerity far more than style. On top of that, my Ba Zi chart shows a strong Earth element and very little Wood — which reflects a personality that is stable, grounded, supportive, but not one that easily absorbs praise or puts itself in the spotlight. I’ve grown cautious around compliments, especially when they feel generic or overly cheerful. Over time, I’ve learned that constant deflection of praise also comes at a cost: I start focusing only on my flaws, training my brain to ignore the good. I don’t want fake affirmation, but maybe I also need to learn how to accept sincere appreciation — in a way that still honours who I am. I don't need grand statements like "You're amazing!" — instead, I feel most affirmed by a quiet nod, a gentle smile, or someone saying, “Hey Jeff, what you did matters — it’s not flashy, but it’s meaningful.” That kind of praise feels real to me — because it recognises effort in a world that often only celebrates results.