The first time I wore my white trunk to the pool, I felt both proud and nervous. It was something I had longed for, something that represented courage to me — yet the moment I stepped into the water, I could sense the eyes on me. Some people whispered; others smirked. My friends teased me, saying I was trying to show off or acting strange. The laughter stung more than I wanted to admit. But I told myself to keep swimming, pretending that I didn’t hear.
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| “People often judge what they don’t understand — but judgment doesn’t define who I am.” As I continued wearing white, the challenges didn’t stop. Sometimes, I noticed people avoiding swimming near me, or giving that uncomfortable look as if I had broken some invisible rule. I started to wonder if I was doing something wrong — was I being selfish, or just naïve? I also knew the practical side: white could become translucent when wet, which added to the fear of embarrassment. It wasn’t easy to feel confident when every movement made me self-conscious. |
And there were deeper worries too — worries about how others might label me. Some might mistake me for someone seeking attention or assume things about my sexuality, and I hated that misunderstanding. I wasn’t trying to make a statement. I just wanted to wear what felt true to me — a colour that reminded me of simplicity, purity, and hope.
Then one day, while swimming as usual, something unexpected happened. Among the crowd, I noticed a lady in a white bikini swimming with her boyfriend. She caught my eye, smiled softly, and there was a silent understanding in that moment. It wasn’t flirtation — it was recognition. It was as if she knew the quiet courage it took just to be myself in a place where people rarely do.
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That small smile meant more than I could express. It reminded me that courage often feels lonely, but it doesn’t go unseen. I began to understand that being myself might invite misunderstanding — but it could also silently inspire respect, even if only from one person. That was enough for me to keep going.
Jeff
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